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sanguine-tenshi · 3 years ago

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I just finished Inazuma and I have words

TL;DR: Hate the story, mixed on characters, love the design and tired of being treated like a 4-year-old with a learning disability.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with what I like.

Inazuma is absolutely beautiful. I’ll admit Inazuma hits a lot of aesthetic points for me. All the islands are different enough to feel unique but they still look like they are a part of the same land. There are a lot of secrets to discover through just exploring. Each island has a world quest to help it (make it less hostile towards you) so it very much feels like you are saving Inazuma from itself.

The puzzles are alright.

I like the cubes that rotate, I always put in the effort to figure them out properly.

Hate the ones that don’t rotate, they just aren’t engaging enough for me, so I just hit them at random and hope for the best.

The glowing floor tiles were fun, once you actually realized what they wanted you to do. A little bit too easy if I’m honest.

The electro compass isn’t really much of a puzzle, more of a fetch the nearest electrograna quest.

Those little pillars that require an electro connection are kinda boring to me, again not much of a puzzle, the hardest part is finding both pillars.

I love the new electro seelie, kinda hard to follow the jittery thing in certain parts but they make a nice contrast to the regular seelies.

I’m very much mixed on characters.

Yoimiya is adorable. She is so bright and bubbly. What little game play we had with her was fun and I love her over the top style of fighting. Kinda disappointed she’s another pyro archer but I do admit it fits her character well. It was also wonderful seeing her just settle down and be quiet, just be a part of that moment that obviously meant a lot to her. It’s always nice to see that bubbly, energetic character have that one quiet thing, ya know. Kinda funny it’s fireworks, of all things, for her.

Gorou I like, from what little we’ve seen of him. My man killed a dude with his thighs so I’m down. I do find it kinda ridiculous that a resistance general has his whole damn belly exposed. There is also something about his voice that just does not fit. I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what exactly it is. Could be the tone itself, could be just voice acting. It sort of feels like the VA is trying to sound deeper than he actually does.

Sangonomiya Kokomi, mixed. I like her design, she looks like some sort of mystical priestess. Again something about the voice is jarring. I expected her to sound sort of airy, like she isn’t 100% present, like she’s seeing something we can’t. TBH she reminds me of Luna from HP for some reason.

Yae Miko, I was interested because of her design. She sounds very arrogant and up her own ass, which would have been fine...if she hadn’t given us that god-awful line. “...I have high hopes for you, child. Don’t disappoint me.” Dear lord I wanted to punt her off the mountain. Or fucking what! Also she’s some bigshot priestess of the Sacred Sakura and yet she can’t do her damn job properly. Why couldn’t her arrogant ass come down from her high perch and cleanse the stupid roots? Why did the traveler have to do that shit?

Baal��looks dead inside. Booba sword is overrated, get a life. I want a remach! And no cutscene shenanigans this time!

Kujou Sara seems like one of those ‘honor above all else’ characters. Those are either hit or miss with me. You have my attention for now. Also what are those shoes woman?! I’d rather you wear those leg-killing, needle point stilettoes instead of those Wish gag shoes. How in the name of all that is holy can you run in those?!

Thoma, I like him. At first I thought we were gonna get another Childe incident, but Thoma is too much of a innocent puppy to pull anything that horrible. To me he fits a fox a lot better than Childe does. Childe is a dingo and I stand behind that.

Kamisato Ayaka...hate her. At first I was neutral on her. Nothing about her design really spoke to me, but I was willing to wait and see. But then miHoYo started to violently push her friendship at us. We are totally friends now, this is the first time you see my face, but we are so totally friends now. And during her story quest everyone was like “Ah, you are so good Ayaka. You are so nice Ayaka. You are so perfect Ayaka. We all love you so much Ayaka. And oh, how could a mere merchant like myself...” Ew, go away. This is the first time I’m actively not pulling on a character banner. Normally I pull even if I’m not particularly interested in a character, because you never know how good their gameplay is until you take them out in the map. But I think I’ll be skipping this one. No thanks.

And now, the worst part, the story.

We’ve been hearing about the situation in Inazuma for a long time. There has been also a lot of talk about how hard it is to get there. About the wall of thunderclouds that surround the islands. So to have it cut to black and then voila Inazuma, feel just so cheap.

I was expecting something. An animation. A struggle. A quest. A minigame. At least show us the horrible weather! Something! Anything!

Hell if they wanted to be assholes about it they could have made it so that if the player fails at this point the ship is damaged, you return to Liyue and have to wait until tomorrow for the ship to be repaired. No Inazuma for today. That sure as hell would have raised the stakes.

The next complaint I have is with Yurika, the 2 milion mora processing fee girl. Later on Thoma mentions that the agency people see the fees as easy money, so her attitude doesn’t make much sense. After all someone like her would want to extract as much money as she can, but you still want the people to be able to pay that.

So it would make more sense to me if she was overly friendly and asked way too many questions. She’d need to get a much information as she can and after all the previous hostility people would be very open with her. So she’d be able to quickly find out why someone is here, what they are selling and roughly how much money they’d be able to pay. A merchant selling expensive silk would have more many than a regular ore merchant. So she’d be able to extract as much money as she could.

“I know this is a lot of money, especially for something so simple, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m so very sorry.” And people wouldn’t say anything bad to her because she’s the first friendly face they see in Inazuma.

The stealth mission was just god-awful and I hope we never have to do that nonsense again.

Getting off of Ritou was a bit janky at the end, Chisato should have had a better reason for coming along. But I’m honestly just glad we didn’t get out the usual way...getting stuffed in a crate and smuggled out.

As a side note, I’m getting really tired of characters overexplaining things to me, especially Paimon. Dear lord, not everything has to be said, you can leave me to come to my own conclusions and solutions. Just please, who cares if a few player struggle for a bit, you don’t have to hold my hand through the whole thing.

Ayaka’s three were...ugh. It was basic emotional manipulation. Oh no this guy forgot about the love of his life and he’s been waiting for decades. And oh how sad this guy was so good and he helped these people so much but now he can’t remember. And oh the tragedy this guy forgot his life goal and is now hunted by the demons of the past. Oh the humanity!

And it did not work. Know why? Because I have no emotional investment in any of these people, in this land. What is happening to the vision bearers in Inazuma is tragic, true, but that doesn’t make me want to overthrow the government. I don’t live here. I just got here. I wanna ask a question or two and then move on. None of this concerns me.

I was so happy when the traveler just flat out refused to start a revolution. And then we had to go and meet some people and immediately I knew this was going to be some oh noes the tragedy moments and then we would agree to help them.

It’s so forced.

Wanna know what would have been better?

Just as we are leaving the Kamisato estate Thoma catches up with us. And he tells us he gets it. We are an outsider and this doesn’t concern us. He was hopeful but he expected the denial. We shouldn’t hold it against Ayaka.

He joins us as a guide because he knows of the people we have to meet.

And so as we help these three we also get to know Thoma. We find out he was an outsider too. He got in just before the worst of it started and then he was stuck in Inazuma. He lost someone to the Vision Hunt. They slowly lost their mind after loosing their vision, their ambition too closely tied to their personality to continue without it (what is happening to Domon hits a little too close to home and he has to walk away, this is where we hear the story of the one he lost). And the same would have happened to him if the Kamisatos hadn't taken him in. He owes them his vision, his sanity and his life.

So this rebellion is personal for him.

At the end of the three wishes the atmosphere is somber. We tell him we understand why Ayaka fights, why he fights. We know that this is all wrong, that it should be stopped...but not by us. We came here to get a lead on our brother. And rebellion isn’t an overnight affaire and we can’t loose so much time in Inazuma.

And yeah, he expected as much. He just asks that we let Ayaka down gently. It’d be a shame if someone as idealistic and hopeful as her lost their spark.

And so we are gentle but firm with Ayaka. She looks like she wants to argue with us but Thoma shakes his head at her. So she sighs and tells us that a promise is a promise. We should come to the Komore Teahouse in a few days and she’ll have a plan for us to meet with the Shogun.

Now we can still have a character story quest with Yoimiya and we can still somehow get involved with helping Master Masakatsu, but it’s through Yoimiya instead of Ayaka.

And instead of a character story quest with Ayaka we have one with Thoma. Hell, give him a whole damn hangout event even.

You can probably guess why I’m pushing the friendship with Thoma so much.

Because. He. Gets. Kidnapped. For. The. 100th. Vision. Ceremony.

And that would have been the perfect emotional in to get us involved in the rebellion. After all we just saw what happens to people who have their visions taken away and we are not letting that happen to Thoma, someone we just got close to.

So Baal makes it personal for us as well.

I have a few more minor complaints.

Aoi is stupid for asking for compensation after she tells us everything we needed to know because, ya know, we could have just walked away. We should have.

The whole stupid misunderstanding about the value Kurosawa’s sword holds. Kinda obvious he meant emotional value instead of monetary.

The suspicious amount of visionless NPCs and by that I mean this is the first time we have NPCs with vision. This wouldn’t have been a problem if we’ve seen NPCs with visions in Mond and Liyue.

The whole rebellion camp bit feels incredibly rushed. We just sort of lollygag over there and then there is a fight (against Sara and her stupid shoes).

Don’t make us fight Baal just to force us to lose. It would have been better if we were forced to retreat, because Thoma was injured, because there are too many soldiers for us to handle on our own. Hell, you can have a funny scene where we straight up jump off a cliff with Thoma clinging onto us and screaming bloody murder until he realizes we are slowly gliding away and he’s not about to plummet to his death.

The Sakura cleansing quest should have been voice acted.

The Mirror Maiden and Pyro Agent are totally on a date, I will not be told otherwise.

#genshin impact #inazuma #genshin inazuma #genshin 2.0 #Thoughts #opinion #yoimiya #gorou #sangonomiya kokomi #yae miko #baal #kujou sara #thoma #kamisato ayaka

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the-witty-pen-name · 4 years ago

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Wallflower

18+ ONLY

Ezra (Prospect) x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, cursing, smut, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), masturbation, dirty dreams, implies age gap (reader is in 20s+/of age, just younger than Ezra)

No use of (y/n) in this one!

A/N: I know this was not one of the things I should be working on, and I procrastinated on my coursework yet again to write fan fic. I’m so in love with Ezra and I have wanted to write something for this character for a while. It’s my first time writing for him and I was so intimidated to write something about him because his manner of speaking is so unique that I’m worried I won’t do him justice! Hopefully you all enjoy!

Next thing I post will be the final part of Rest! It is currently in progress!

I will be updating my taglist form soon to include Ezra and other Pedro characters I write for so check out for that if you want to be tagged in future fics!

This is unedited and if I miss something to tag as a warning please let me know!

Tags and Requests and OPEN

“Ezra, for once can you please shut the fuck up. You’re driving me crazy,” you sigh, pulling off your helmet as you both return to your shared pod. It was a fairly long trek from the mining site back to your makeshift home and Ezra, being himself, talked the whole time- not once missing a beat.

“Not once have I ever had the pleasure of conversing with one as eloquently a sweet talker as yourself,” Ezra winks, making you roll your eyes. You weren’t actually mad at him, you could never, but one of the side effects of Ezra was limited moments of peace and quiet. In many ways, you and Ezra were very similar, and it made you really compatible partners.

But unlike Ezra, you really enjoyed quiet. Ezra, on the other hand, has had more than his fill of quiet for his lifetime and he basked in the ability to vocalize his every passing thought to you. It wasn’t often you felt the need to tell him to stop, but today had been particularly challenging and you couldn’t think of anything else besides the quiet of night and a good rest.

Ezra and you worked well because you were so much alike, but your differences also paired you two nicely. Ezra was without a doubt the biggest and most long-winded talker you had ever met and you were the best listener, opting to be the silent one in the conversation more times than not. You weren’t necessarily shy, just someone of a quieter nature. You mostly kept to yourself, by choice really, while Ezra struggled with solitude, it was one of the strengths of yours that you were able to endure it better than he could.

When you first met Ezra, he had called you wallflower, cause frankly you were one. Settled in the far corner of the pod with your notebook in hand, sketching instead of talking with the rest of the crew, Ezra made the effort to saunter over to you and made it his personal mission since day one to break you out of your shell. Made sure during mealtimes, he sat next to you, talked to you, asked you questions. Frankly, you owe the friendship you have with him now to his openness and talkative nature.

“Flower, I hope my parley on the trek back didn’t offend,” he says as he sheds off his suit.

“Not at all,” you say with a small smile, “Sometimes my meter runs out on my ability to listen. Tires me out.”

“I suppose I can understand,” Ezra replies, “I honestly seem to have the opposite problem, all my years in the Green, I never had the pleasure of someone to listen to besides my lonesome. Now that I have you, I find myself utterly unable to suppress my desire of spoken prose and I’m afraid I do tend to take advantage of your gentle nature.”

You nod, understanding him very well. It was coming up on seven months since you and Ezra had been on your own. The other three members of your crew had parted ways with you both, seeking out a better treasure.

Ezra, knowing what this planet and greed does, insisted on just doing his job and leaving, and you strongly agreed. It had been so long since the three of them went off for the buried riches, and you don’t even know if they will be returning to your pod at your scheduled time of departure in a few months’ time. Ezra told you stories about how he’s witnessed this job change people, and how he’s seen planets swallow up one’s humanity with no forgiveness. He was doubtful that any of them would return, and you were now starting to realize that his prediction since the beginning was correct.

Once your suit was off and put away, you smoothed out your hair as best you could by touch without a mirror, and headed over to the storage cubby where you both had your rations and grabbed you both a bar. You tossed one over to Ezra and he caught it effortlessly. Peeling back the wrapper of yours, you took a bite and collapsed on your cot.

“I never thought I’d miss those meals they served in the mess hall up in the station,” you comment, “I’d take a portion of those watery mashed potatoes and mystery meatloaf in a heartbeat if it meant I never had to touch one of these bars again.”

Your words made Ezra chuckle, his laugh deep and husky. You loved it. Your chest always swelled with pride just a tad when you had the ability to make him laugh or smile. More often, it was always him getting those reactions from you with his words and you liked the feeling when you were able to return the favor.

You closed your eyes, not falling asleep, just letting them rest while you chewed the rubbery ration. Ezra, tore through his always rather quickly, and he noticed that you still tried to savor yours despite your complaints. Like the taste, even though lacking and the texture terrible, was still like a reward for completing another hard day’s work. He admired that about you. You hadn’t been working this job as many years as him, as he was a few (plus a few more) years your senior. The things about this job he’s long since ignored or has gotten used to, still affected you. You still tried to taste your food, instead of scoffing it down like him and other seasoned prospectors.

“I can feel you staring, Ezra,” you say, breaking him out of his thoughts. He felt flushed knowing that he had been caught. It wasn’t intentional, more and more it was hard to keep his mind clear of thoughts of you.

“Sorry, flower,” he mutters, and you smirk, rendering him speechless for the first time all day.

It was undeniable that Ezra’s feelings for you were bubbling up closer and closer to the surface each passing day he spent in your company. You grounded him in ways he hadn’t realized he had needed. He needed someone to reign in his ramblings and tether him back when he lets his mind wander too deep. He needed you. There was this dependency that tied him to you now more than he ever experienced with another partner. It was friendship, sure. But he’s been friendly with partners past, and not once has he felt about them what he feels towards you.

He was a hopeless romantic, his thoughts of love and relationships were as poetic as the words he spoke. Yearning, completely head over heels, his mind constantly cluttered with scenarios of the ways he would court and win your affection if there was no inkling that lingered in his mind that was there to remind him it was a bad idea. You were much more practical than he ever hoped to be, much more wired for logic than he was. However, Ezra was blissfully unaware of how he had begun to rub off on you.

You found yourself daydreaming, caught up in your own little fantasies and escapes from reality, far more often than you had ever in your lifetime. Ezra, always the star at the center of it all. Living a life where you could stay with him somewhere more permanent, different career that didn’t require you both to float from planet to planet, chasing after prizes that weren’t actually yours- you just acted as a vessel, a taxi service for someone else’s riches.

You imagine scenarios where you would have met Ezra at a different time, or a different place. However, you often scolded yourself for allowing your stupid crush to occupy so much of your time. You were here for a job. And then you will leave and move on to your next one like always. It would be too painful to face rejection anyways, you reason. You can imagine the look on his face, thinking about the nicest way possible to reject you. That’s what you want to avoid, the pity. The niceties that will be forced after his inevitable rejection. The first friendship you’ve had the pleasure of having in years are gone just like that.

The pod was more spacious than the pod you would’ve been issued had it just been you and Ezra since the beginning. Two people sharing a pod designed for six felt much more like a livable space. More leg room, more spaces for privacy, it felt a little more like a studio apartment special wise than a glorified tent. You had even pushed a couple of the standard issue cots together and secured them tightly. You had the luxury of an extra pillow, and two of the thin mattress pads- it was like you had a full-size bed, with a beam running down the middle you did your best to cover by overlapping the mattress pads in the center. It was the most comfortable sleeping arrangement you’ve ever had on these expeditions.

Ezra and you strung a line across where both of your makeshift beds were positioned in the pod, and you hung a tarp across the line to make yourselves a privacy curtain. It was like you had your own room and he had his own as well. Ezra’s side was a little cleaner than yours, yours was a little cluttered with little mementos you find and want to bring back with you. Rocks, or small geodes… occasionally you’d bring back small plants that you double checked were nontoxic and you had them set up in makeshift planters- one of the crewmates that left abandoned an extra helmet that was damaged, and now you have an obscure green and purple plant sprouting up proudly from it.

Ezra’s side was much more standard. He had a pile of his old books, all of them weathered, looking like they’d been through hell and back. He had field books, and notebooks that held his years of accumulated knowledge of how he’s survived the Green. He ended up copying your bedding arrangement, and he agreed it was the most comfortable bed he’s had in years. He said it felt like a luxury a prospector like himself didn’t deserve. He also had a small collection of rocks that lined the ledge behind his bed. Little gifts from you, all of them.

“This one reminded me of you,” you’d say, passing him a unique rock while you struggled to keep the handful of the others you collected balanced in your hands. The grin on your face when you’d collect the little things was one of his favorite sights. When the partition that separated the beds was opened, it was a comical sight. Like a bedroom of a married couple on old television shows, where they had different beds and each side was decorated to that person’s tastes. Most of the time though, the partition was closed.

It made changing easier, the bathrooms and showers in pods no matter the occupancy size always had small, cramped bathrooms. However, it created a false sense of privacy because it did absolutely nothing in terms of suppressing noises. Ezra sometimes babbled nonsense in his sleep. The man literally unable to stop talking even when he was rendered unconscious. Most of the times it was completely incomprehensible, not even sounding like real words. Sometimes you’d hear a sentence maybe, but without knowing his dreams it was still alien to you. It was comforting to you hearing him on the other side of the partition, and knowing he was right on the other side made it easier for you to sleep.

Tonight, was no different, curled up in your bed, you were drifting off to sleep while Ezra had long fallen asleep before you. The weight of today’s expedition felt like it melted right off of your body as soon as your head hit the pillow. You were close to falling asleep, just savoring the moments of comfort before letting your mind drift when you heard Ezra say your name on the other side of the makeshift wall.

“What is it, Ezra?” you whisper, grumbling that he interrupted you right before falling asleep. He doesn’t respond, and instead you hear a low snore on the other side. He must’ve fallen back asleep, you figure, closing your eyes. They shoot open a few minutes later when he repeats your name again, but this time it’s a deep moan. His voice was husky and it sent a vibration right up the back of your spine. Your eyes widened at the realization that on the other side of the curtain, Ezra was dreaming about you. You shivered when he let out another involuntary, low groan. If you hadn’t been listening you probably wouldn’t have even heard it.

What do you do? You mind is racing with trying to figure out how to handle this situation. Do you wake him up? You also try your hardest to ignore how every small noise on the other side of the curtain is just going right to your core, making your thighs squeeze together while you keep your own arousal at bay. It was wrong of you to listen in, but you really don’t have much of a choice. You force yourself to take a few unsteady breaths to calm yourself, but it does nothing to ease you in your shocked state. Kevva, the noises he was making were like music. You often wondered what he would sound like. His voice on its own is already so perfect. But in this context? You wanted to hear nothing else.

You don’t even know how long you lay on your bed paralyzed before the temptation becomes too much and you are sliding one hand down the length of your torso and into your sleep shorts. You delicately slide your hand under your dampened underwear and your fingers instinctively find your clit. You bite your lip, trying your best to suppress the whimpers that escape your lips as you think about the man behind the partition. Your months of pining for him you finally let yourself submit to.

It had been a while. There was no privacy on the pod at any moment. When someone was using the shower, from the other room everyone could always hear the rustling around, if they were humming. It was better to just not try at all. The risk of getting caught was always too high. This was the first time you acknowledged and succumbed to your desires this entire mission. It had been so difficult to avoid, but now, you are taking advantage of the opportunity presenting itself to you. You weren’t even thinking twice, just closing your eyes and imaging the fingers inside you belonged to Ezra. You were so caught up in your own pleasure, you hadn’t noticed that Ezra’s side of the room had fallen silent.

Ezra sat up on his bed, His eyes fixated completely on the tarp that was the only thing separating him from you. He felt shameful, waking up from another dream about you. He woke up hard, and he felt immensely guilty. Then he heard your soft moans you were trying so hard to hold back. Now he sat on his bed, completely captivated by the noises on the other side, while he pleaded with himself to either make a move or just try to ignore it and get a few more hours of sleep. He snapped when he heard his name fall off your lips in a small whisper.

“I can feel you staring, Ezra,” he hears you say on the other side of the curtain. He smiles, probably ear to ear like a goddamn dopey teenager. He stands up and pulls the curtain back, and his breath catches in his throat at the sight of you laid out. You had stopped, knowing your statement would cause him to pull the curtain back, but the evidence of what you were doing still lingered- your hair sprawled out messy on the pillow, your sleepshirt haphazardly pushed up exposing the smooth skin and curves to him, the slick on your fingertips and the small wet spot on the front of your shorts. You looked up at him with doe eyes and he thought he might collapse on the floor at the sight of you.

“Flower,” he whispers breathlessly in the dark. The only light coming in was from the moonlight outside from the small window on your side you had opened. He thought you looked ethereal, a sight to behold that he was not worthy of gazing upon. He’s speechless. You can’t quite make out his facial expression in the dark and you mistake his breathless tone for discomfort.

“I’m so sorry,” you say, sitting up slightly. “I just... I heard you dreaming about me; we don’t have to bring this up again. Its just loneliness getting to me…”

He tentatively kneels down in front of your bed and you move to hide your face in the pillow so you don’t have to face him. He gently cups your face in his hand, and guides you back to face him. He actually says your name, and you might die hearing it on his lips.

“If what you say is true, and this is nothing more than a lapse in judgement, fueled by the loneliness of the Green, I swear to you I shall never as I live hold this moment against you, and you and I shall commence in the morning living like it never happened. But, if there is any chance these feelings that I have harbored for you are reciprocated, please grant me this opportunity to show you how much I am completely transfixed by you.”

You are now the one rendered speechless as you try to process the new information and the proposal Ezra has offered you. You are having difficultly allowing yourself to believe any of this or anything he says is true. Part of you was wondering if this was part of a dream and you hadn’t yet realized you were asleep. You had to reach out and touch his face, feeling his stubble under your touch, any sort of evidence to know he was physically right there.

“You’re real,” you mumble to yourself, and he chuckles. He takes the hand which you had rested on his face and he presses a kiss to your wrist.

“The number of times I have thought the same thing about you,” he mutters, moving your hand to press a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Flower, please…”

“This is more than a just a whim,” you admit, exhaling shakily, “Ezra… I love you.”

“Oh, how I’ve longed to hear those gracious words on your lips, flower,” he smiles, his gaze not breaking from your face.

You lean forward, capturing his lips in a kiss, unable to take being separated from him anymore. You move your lips against his and you can feel his smile as he moves to position himself on top of you, not even needing to break the kiss. Your limbs tangle with his, and you run your hands through his tousled curls, wanting to just let your hands touch every part of him that he would let you. He rests on hand on the back of your neck, while he uses the other to keep himself from putting all of his weight on you.

“You’re bewitching,” he says softly, as he pulls away from your lips to leave a trail of kisses and bites down your neck and collar bone. “Your beauty is unmatched by anything these tired eyes have ever witnessed,” he praises, as his hands move to slide nimbly under the fabric of your shirt.

He plans to take his time, to completely worship every part of your body and vocalize in every way how beautiful you are and how much he cares for you. His moments are slow, and sensual, making you feel like complete putty in his hands. He wants to savor absolutely every part of this shared moment. For so long has he dreamed about this, and so far, everything about you- your noises, your soft skin, all so much better than he ever envisioned. His calloused hands savor every inch of you they graze, committing how every part of you feels to his memory.

His moustache and stubble leave goosebumps behind on every part of your skin he kisses. He leaves a trail of marks behind that with time will definitely darken into small bruises, evidence he can gaze upon tomorrow to remind him this all was not just a dream. In his head, he pleads with his maker that if this is a dream may he please never wake up and suspend him in this sleep state forever. A small price to pay to have you entangled in his arms.

“I love you,” he repeats over and over as he kisses down your body, pressing kisses to every inch he can see and touch, just like he’s wanted to for so long in these strenuous months. His movements are gently, and you moan softly at the sensation of his knuckles grazing your skin as he pulls your shorts and underwear down your legs, leaving you know completely bare in front of him.

“I want to spend the rest of my days between these thighs,” he mumbles, pressing kisses to your inner thighs and his hands grab them and pull them apart gently. Like a man starved, his tongue works skillfully, giving you so much attention. Your hands tangle in his hair, and he sucks on your clit, making you cry out in pleasure. He loves the reactions he can elicit from you and he loves the taste of you. You’re as touched starved as he is and he wants nothing more than to stay between your legs for hours as you moan praises, and shudder under his touch. You back arches and you can’t help but squirm at the sensations, but he holds your legs gently, keeping you in place. The first time he brings you to orgasm is by his tongue, and you can taste yourself on his lips when he finally comes up for air.

You can’t even think of anything to say to reciprocate his words, your mind is hazy and you’re overcome with the feeling. He doesn’t seem to mind, and the look on his face almost proves how proud he is to be the one who’s the cause of your current state. He’s just so wrapped up in how your body is responding to his every move, he doesn’t care you’re completely speechless. The feeling of it all was just too much to try to attempt vocalizing coherent thoughts.

When he finally pushes himself inside you, it completely takes your breath away. He makes sure to go slow, taking his time and letting you adjust. He also needs to steady himself, because the feeling of you wrapped around him is incredible. It’s perfect, and he wants to take his time, but your so tight and feel so good, and it’s been so long since he’s experienced such an intimacy.

“You’re perfect,” you moan softly at the feeling of how he stretches you.

The compliments that fall from your lips, go right to his head, inflating his ego. His kisses become more frantic, and passionate. His hands shamelessly wander the length of your body, groping at the flesh, wanting to just worship every part of you, to just touch every part of you. His rhythm is slow at first, not wanting to cause you any discomfort, but you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him in closer and his mind is frenzied at the sensation. His movements become much more sporadic, chasing his relief as you cry out how close you are as your face rests in the crook of his neck, leaving kisses and bites on his neck, leaving your own marks on him like you were returning the favor.

“Cum inside me, Ezra,” you whisper, nibbling his ear and he groans hearing something only in his dreams manifest in the flesh. “It’s safe.”

He bites his lip and you tug gently on the ends of his hair, a moaning mess under him. The way your face contorts when you orgasm for the second time and the sensation of your release is the final sensation that triggers his own. He collapses on top of you, resting his face in the crook of your neck, whispering again how perfect you are before pulling out and rolling over to lay beside you.

You both are breathing heavily, glistening with sweat and feeling euphoric after coming down from the high. Your chests rise and fall as you both work to catch your breath before either of you speak. It’s a comfortable silence, both of you trying to recover. He looks over to you, and you match his gaze. You roll over onto your stomach and rest your head on his chest, taking a few moments before cleaning up. You rest your arm across his torso and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

Here, in the depths of this dangerous planet, you felt safe in his arms. The excruciatingly long days of physical labor, chasing after promises of riches feel fruitless now more than ever, because the best thing you ever found in the Green had been right next to you the entire time.

General Taglist:

@sassy-kassaay

@letsfly-andbe-free

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bonjour-rainycity · 4 years ago

Text

Imagine: Being friends with Alice and asking Carlisle for help on your chemistry homework

Characters: Cullen family, female reader

Rating: G

Word count: 2120

Warnings: None

Request by anon: Wait, omg I’m so happy I found a blog that’s updated recently and I’m definitely gonna ✨stalk✨ your blog and read all your writing after hw but if you’re still doing requests, I thought of something that I would just love to see written. And this could be short or something, y’know? It can be whatever you want it to be, but what if the reader is somewhat friends with the Cullens? Reader (maybe like 20 years old?) is invited to their house one weekend after bumping into Alice and becoming friends and from passing conversation, reader knows that Carlisle is a doctor so she asks him if he could help her with her organic chemistry hw cause she’s studying to be a med student?

A/n Wow I’m so sorry this took me so long! It’s such a cute request and I loved writing it! Thanks for sending it in and for being patient with me :)

Shoot.

Mentally, I groan, stopping my progress towards my car.

I still have chem homework.

I fiddle with the keys in my hand, contemplating. You could go home…lay in bed…maybe with a pint of ice cream…and pass out in a stress and sugar-induced coma.

Oh, how tempting.

But then I remind myself of why I’m putting myself through the hell that is a STEM degree, and turn on my heel, heading back to campus. I know I won’t get any work done if I go home, so the library it is! Thank goodness it’s open twenty-four hours, because it’s creeping up to eleven and I don’t have the heart to return to one of the academic buildings.

Seeing as it’s Friday night, the library isn’t crowded. Still, I push past all the tables on the first floor and head up to my favorite spot on the second. Settling in at my favorite partially secluded table, I pull out my organic chemistry textbook, pop in my earbuds, and get to work.

{***}

A small, pale hand skims over the table near my book, and I look up with a start.

Alice Cullen stands by my desk, clutching a set of books that look too heavy for her thin arms, but she seems to be managing fine. She and I met during the first week of classes, and have been tentative friends ever since. We don’t see much of each other, given our varying degree programs, but she always greets me with a friendly smile and an offer to join her to study. I pull out my headphones, and give her a tired smile. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good!” She smiles excitedly, somehow keeping her energy levels at—I check the time on my phone—1:12 am! “Have you been here for long?”

I shrug, feeling the weight of the late hour on my shoulders. “Since around eleven. I was going home but then I forgot I have o-chem homework. I don’t think it should be taking me this long, but I’m struggling. Thankfully only half of it is due in the morning. The rest isn’t due until after the weekend.”

Alice peers over to look at my book and the problems I work through in my notebook. “Oh, those do look hard. But you know, my dad is a doctor, and he probably knows this stuff like the back of his hand. He’d be more than happy to help you.”

I blanch. An invitation to the Cullen’s house? And free help on o-chem homework?

But then I remember my manners. “Oh, thank you, but I couldn’t—”

“Please,” she squeaks, balancing her books in one arm and using the other to retrieve her phone. “We’d be happy to have you over! I’ll let my family know. Does tomorrow around lunchtime work?”

“Uh,” I swallow, not sure I’m believing my ears. “That works great, thank you! I can bring the food?”

She shakes her head, waving off the offer. “Don’t worry about it—Mom loves to cook and will be excited to really use the kitchen. Oh! And there’s this new series my sisters and I have been dying to watch. It’s called Broadchurch. Have you heard of it? Maybe we can start it and see if it’s any good!”

I nod dumbly, too tired and relieved for the help to refuse again. “That sounds fun! Thank you.”

“Of course,” she smiles, shrugging like it’s nothing. “What are friends for?”

My smile softens. She considers us friends. “Do you want to walk out together? It’s pretty late.”

She beams and waits while I collect my stuff.

{***}

I pull up to the front of the massive house.

Alice is waiting for me on the porch. She waves excitedly, and I notice her fiancé standing near the door, looking uncomfortable. I stifle a chuckle. It’s well-known that Jasper, introvert in every sense of the word, fell hard for Alice who is the embodiment of an extravert. I wave, grabbing my backpack and stepping out of the car.

“Welcome,” Alice practically shouts. Jasper gives me a polite nod.

I smile at the two of them, calling out my hello’s and climbing the stairs to the porch. The second Jasper opens the door, I’m greeted by the warm smile of Esme Cullen.

“Hello, Y/n, welcome to our home! We are so happy to have you here.” She extends a warm smile, one I can’t help but return immediately.

Alice leads us straight to the living room, where two of her adoptive siblings, Emmett and Rosalie, lounge. Rosalie sketches something I can’t see, and Emmett yells loudly at the TV, losing at a video game.

“Beat it, Emmett,” Alice chirps, dancing over and taking the controller from his hands. “We’re going to watch Broadchurch.”

Putting his frustration at the game aside, Emmett grins, standing and ruffling Alice’s hair. “Alright, I was getting my ass kicked anyway. Hey, Y/n, good to see you again.”

I return his greeting, familiar with Emmett from an intro to theatre class we had together last semester. The image of his interpretation of Juliet for our final project comes to mind, and I have to stifle a laugh. Emmett goes to leave the room, pulling Jasper with him.

“Send Bella down, would you,” Alice calls after them, already settling on the couch. “Rose, you know Y/n, right?”

Rosalie looks up from her sketching. She smiles briefly at me, then returns to her task. I sit awkwardly next to Alice, waiting for Bella so we can start the show.

“There aren’t many women in STEM.”

My head shoots up, wide eyes turning in Rosalie’s direction. She doesn’t look up from her work, but I know she’s addressing me—Alice is studying fashion merchandising and design.

“Y-yeah,” I stammer. Alice’s older sister is just so intimidating. Well-spoken, obviously intelligent, tall, prettier than anyone I’ve ever met, and top of her law class. She’s not exactly warm either, like her mother or sister—even now, there’s a cold bite to her tone. But the edges of her lips quirk up, and I can tell she’s being nice.

“Don’t let the guys push you around. What you’re doing is important, and you’re probably smarter than them. What do you want to do with your degree?”

The answer, always on my heart and mind, is automatic. “I want to be a doctor. So, med school is next.”

She nods once. “Good.”

And apparently that’s the end of our conversation.

I try to hide my smile by rummaging around in my backpack for my water bottle. It’s nice to feel supported.

Bella comes gliding down the stairs and twists into the living room, folding herself easily onto the love seat. She greets me, and then tosses me the throw over the back of her couch. Alice nods as if forgetting something, then reaches into a basket hidden between our couch and Rosalie’s chair and produces three more blankets, throwing two to her sisters and keeping one for herself. She shoots me a grin as each of us, even the serious Rosalie, snuggles up.

Alice stands, turning off the lights and then wraps back in her blanket and scoots near me on the couch. “I hope this is good!” With a grin, she opens Netflix and plays the first episode.

{***}

Broadchurch does not disappoint. Before I know it, we’re halfway through the second episode, eyes glued to the screen. Bella, who was definitely reading a book under her blanket at the start, has put it to the side, leaning forward and watching the show intently.

The front door creaks, then clicks closed, and Alice smiles, pressing pause on the remote. “Dad’s home.”

Before long, the famed local doctor comes in to say hi to the girls and to greet me. He’s just as welcoming as his wife!

“Alice told me you are having trouble with some organic chemistry homework?”

I nod, hoping it’s not too much to ask for his help. “I got a good start on some of the problems last night, but I keep messing up. I’m not really sure where I’m going wrong—there’s no answer key so I can’t work backwards through the problems.”

He nods, casually resting his hands in the pocket of his slacks. “I remember o-chem homework quite well.” He grins conspiratorially. “It is the bane of many a med student’s existence. Why don’t you girls finish up your episode and then join Esme and me in the kitchen for lunch? I can take a look at your homework if you like.”

Relief washes over me. “That would be great, thank you so much.”

He smiles warmly. “Of course. Now, if you all will excuse me….” With a twinkle in his eye, he leaves us to rejoin his wife.

This family is so nice! I wonder why they get so much flack at school?

Alice resumes the episode, and soon my musings are washed away as I try to piece together the mystery of the murder before the detectives can.

{***}

Esme is a wonderful cook. Carlisle sings her praises but doesn’t fix a plate for himself, saying he ate plenty as she was cooking. We all sit down at the table, though I’m the only one who eats in earnest — Bella claims to be filled up on snacks, Rose says she’s on a diet, and Alice takes a small helping for herself, every now and then poking the chicken in mild disgust. I don’t see what the problem is, the food is fantastic!

Carlisle sits down next to me, and I slide my textbook and notebook in his direction. He smiles, looking almost nostalgic. “I remember these. The good news is, as a doctor, you won’t be doing much of this in day-to-day life, if at all. But it is important for some courses you will take in medical school, so it’s best to master the concepts now. See, on number nineteen, you start the problem correctly, but get lost once you have to balance the equation to continue. Instead of waiting until the middle to balance, I would do that first, that way, you have a solid base before moving on to solve the rest of the problem.”

I nod, peering over at the paper intently. I hadn’t tried that strategy before.

Carlisle takes out a pen, and begins scratching out an equation. Then, he grins, shaking his head, and crosses it out, starting again in much neater handwriting. “Forgive my penmanship. Though, if you decide to continue and become a practicing doctor, your handwriting will soon be indecipherable, too.”

From across the table, Rosalie snorts, and I can’t help but laugh along. It seems almost a rite of passage for a doctor to have horrendous handwriting.

In clearer script, Carlisle continues working out the problem, then slides the paper over for me to see. He explains what he did at each step, and I nod along, trying to commit as much of it to memory as possible. He works out another problem in the same way, then asks me to try on my own. I smile tentatively as I go, hesitant to accept that I actually know how to do the problem now.

But I do.

It takes concentration to work through the steps, but I can, which is a far cry from where I was last night. Carlisle waves off my thanks, saying I just needed to try a different approach, but I had it within me all along. I bring up another section I had issues with—structures of the elements—and Carlisle teaches me a better strategy for memorizing a few and then figuring out the rest. By the time Esme and Bella have put the food away, my homework is done—in a fourth of the time it would have taken me struggling through it on my own.

“Seriously, Dr. Cullen, thank you so much.”

He smiles pleasantly, handing me back my textbook. “Of course. If you need help again, just come on over. I know the girls love having the company, and my wife and I enjoyed the opportunity to meet you as well.”

Esme appears behind her husband, laying her hands affectionately on his shoulders. “Absolutely, Y/n. Please come over any time.”

I pack up my homework and thank them once again for lunch and for the help. Alice darts to my side, grinning. “Ready to finish the episode?”

I feel so much lighter now that my homework is done, and I don’t feel guilty at all for spending time with my new friends. In fact, I may even indulge in that ice cream when I get home.

“Absolutely.”

A/n Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, here’s the link to my masterlist :)

#twilight #twilight renaissance #platonic twilight #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #jasper cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie cullen #esme cullen #bella cullen #twilight imagine #carlisle imagine #alice imagine

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toastedqueso · 4 years ago

Text

Take A Shot

Pairing: Jungwoo x Original Female Character | Reader

Words: 6k

Genre: Comedy, Smut, Strangers to Lovers

Warnings: Alcohol consumption (drink responsibly), Betting, Explicit sexual content

Summary: A handsome stranger at Yuta’s soccer match watching party catches Ella’s attention. Unfortunately for Ella, the stranger, Jungwoo, is rooting for the enemy. They get entangled in a bet and maybe both of them are winners.

A/N: This has idea has been floating around for a while since I found out Jungwoo is a Manchester City fan. The fic has been sitting around for a while and it’s time I finally posted it. Thank you for reading!

Ella clutches the bottle of Prosecco close to her as she walks the short distance from where her Uber driver dropped her off to Yuta’s townhouse. Ella was looking forward to this party all week. Yuta had been planning for a while to host a soccer match watching party on his brand new fancy TV, which he couldn’t stop bragging about. He let Ella as his soul sister have the honor of the first viewing event be an important match for her favorite soccer team, Liverpool FC. The match is against Manchester City and regardless of how much money Man City spent in the offseason on new players, she’s confident Liverpool FC will win.

Yuta had told her that the party would be just her and a few of his other friends she had hung out with before. They seemed nice from their previous encounters, but she was ready to put them in their place if they questioned her soccer knowledge.

Ella takes a deep breath to relax. She can feel her pre-match nerves creeping up and she needs a drink fast. Ella rings the doorbell when she reaches the front door. Yuta opens the door before she drops her hand away from the doorbell.

“Welcome! Come on in, sis!” Yuta bear hugs Ella and takes the bottle of Prosecco. “Nice. I was in the mood for some mimosas.”

“When aren’t you? You always act like you’re on ‘Real Housewives’,” Ella gruffs and ducks befor Yuta can rufflle her hair. She slips her shoes off and follows Yuta into the townhouse.

Yuta and Ella became fast friends when they started working at the same Graphic Design company 4 years ago. They’re known as “Double Trouble” at work for all the chaos they cause. Some of their nosey coworkers initially suspected they were more than friends, but they quickly quashed those rumors when they started referring to each other as siblings and Yuta brought his girlfriend, Maria, to their office parties.

Ella gives Maria a hug when she spots her in the Living Room. She scans the room to see that the guests are already here sipping their drinks and eating nachos. She greets Johnny, Taeyong and their girlfriends, then notices an unfamiliar face. Yuta has quite a few attractive friends, but this friend was different. His soft brown hair frames his pretty face, which nicely contrasts his tall physique. When he stands up, he towers over Taeyong and Yuta, but stands a hair shorter than Johnny.

“Woah,” Ella quietly says to herself as she tucks a strand of her wavy black hair behind her ear. She now wishes she put in more effort in her attire. She hastily threw on her Liverpool jersey with her medium wash jeans. Fortunately, she did curl her hair and put on some light makeup to highlight the golden glow of her skin.

Ella and the stranger make eye contact and she notices his eyes go wide for a second. Before she can introduce herself to the stranger, Johnny calls his name to grab his attention. Jungwoo.

The guys huddle by the TV to admire it like treasure. While they discuss future viewing plans for Yuta’s brand new fancy TV fit for King, Ella watches Jungwoo bite his lips as he inspects the TV. He catches Ella’s eye as he’s scanning the room and smiles. Ella breaks her stare and looks around to find Maria.

“Want a drink?” Maria asks, noticing Ella is still drinkless. Ella definitely feels far too sober to have to spend the next few hours with the handsome stranger. If Maria suspects anything from Ella's actions since stepping into the townhouse, she doesn’t mention it.

Breaking the awkwardness she feels from possibly getting caught in the act, Ella heads to the kitchen and pours herself a glass of white wine. She practically chugs the wine down and pours herself another glass to sip slowly. Getting drunk before the game would lead to her being really loud and maybe breaking Yuta’s new TV if the game didn’t go how she hoped and she didn’t have new TV money.

Ella heads back to the living room, wine in hand, and settles in on the couch. She gently swirls her wine glass while contemplating how to introduce herself to the stranger. She’s so deep in thought that she almost misses that the handsome stranger is heading towards the kitchen until he’s screaming if anyone wants anything. She watches him walk into the empty kitchen before she chugs the rest of her wine. She gets up too quickly and has to grab onto the sofa arm to steady herself.

“Fuck it. It’s now or never,” Ella tries to hype herself up as she heads into the kitchen.

She finds the stranger concentrating on pouring a mix of liqueurs into a cocktail shaker.

“What are you making?” Ella asks, causing the stranger to jump a little.

“Oh! You’re just in time! I’m mixing my special drink. I call it ‘Jungwoo’s Special’!” Jungwoo announces as he shakes the cocktail shaker.

“What makes it ‘special’?” Ella asks bluntly.

Jungwoo laughs. “Be prepared to be amazed!”

“I’m Jungwoo by the way. I meant to introduce myself to you earlier, but Johnny dragged me away. A TV over a girl, he’s so inconsiderate,” Jungwoo replies.

Ella blushes. She doesn’t want to read too much into Jungwoo’s words, but she lets herself hope he meant something more by it. “I’m Ella. I’m one of Yuta’s work buddies.”

“Oh! You’re the work sister! I guess I need to be extra gentlemanly,” Jungwoo laughs.

“So is the ‘Jungwoo’s Special’ something a gentleman would offer a lady?”

“Why don’t you try it and find out?” Jungwoo gives Ella a mischievous look. Jungwoo pours the drink for Ella and hands it to her. She takes a sip and nods her head. It’s a good drink, but guessing by the bottles he left uncapped, it was a potent drink.

“It definitely knows how to treat a lady,” Ella says. Taking a step closer to Jungwoo, she can feel how much bigger he is than her. She has to crane her neck to look up at him. She notices Jungwoo looking down at the Liverpool FC badge on her jersey and smiles.

“Liverpool fan?” Ella cocks her head. Jungwoo gives her a sweet smile. With all the liquid courage in her, she takes a step closer to Jungwoo.

“Man City,” Jungwoo replies with a playful glint in his eyes.

“Wow, you’re a glory hunter.” Ella gives him a horrified look and shoves his torso. If she wasn’t feeling her pre-game rage and animosity for Manchester City, she would’ve commented how his abs felt solid like a rock.

“If that’s what you want to call supporting the best players and manager in the world, then sure!” Jungwoo teases.

“It’s a TEAM sport. It’s about how everyone works together to win, not just a bunch of megastars.” Ella retorts.

“You make it sound like Liverpool doesn’t also buy the best players and have a great manager,” Jungwoo points out. Ella couldn’t argue with that.

“Touché. But at least we don’t throw all our money at everything.”

“How about we place a bet?” Jungwoo propositions. He knows they won’t get anywhere with their argument, but maybe a bet could make things interesting.

“Seriously? A bet?”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. It’ll be some extra fun for the match,” Jungwoo coaxes.

“Fine, what are the terms of the bet that you propose?”

“If Liverpool wins, you get to pick what to do and If Manchester City wins, I’ll get to pick what to do. To make this a little more fun, not only does the winner get to pick what to do, but they get to pick a thing or wish for each goal their team scores.”

“What if it’s a draw?”

“We can go with who had the most possession in the game.”

Ella sips her drink and contemplates whether to accept or not. She had come into the kitchen to expect a bit of talking, maybe some flirting, but not a bet. The only downside would be if Man City won, but Ella was pretty confident Liverpool had this game in the bag.

“You have yourself a deal, Jungwoo.” Ella stretches out her right hand for Jungwoo to shake. Jungwoo lights up and shakes her hand.

“No matter who wins or loses, I’m sure we’ll both end up winning at the end.” Jungwoo winks at Ella before he chugs the rest of his ‘Jungwoo Special’ drink.

They settle into the couch in front of Yuta’s fancy TV. The players complete the pre-match rituals of pennant exchanges and hand shakes and then the kick off. Liverpool gains possession early and builds up momentum. The two teams go back and forth creating chances, but no one scoring. Ella glances over at Jungwoo from time to time and notices even Jungwoo seems to feel the tension. Then in the 39th minute, Liverpool breaks away with the ball and scores a spectacular goal.

“FUCK YES!” Ella screams and jumps around. Yuta high fives Ella to celebrate.

“In your face!” Ella says with satisfaction to Jungwoo.

“Don’t get too cocky. The game is far from over.” Jungwoo playfully shoves Ella when she sits down.

Ella rolls her eyes and shoves Jungwoo back. Five minutes remain for the first half. Each team approaches the last few minutes differently. Liverpool seems to be playing it safe while Manchester City is looking to equalize. Ella nervously takes a sip of her drink. Even if Liverpool is leading, she can’t help but feel something worrying looming in the air. Unfortunately, her gut instincts were right. As soon as she puts her drink down, Manchester City takes possession of the ball and scores. Jungwoo starts jumping up and cheering. Ella huffs and lays back onto the sofa.

“We’re even now,” Jungwoo says as he shakes Ella’s shoulder.

“Whatever. There’s still another half,” Ella replies. She lightly smacks Jungwoo’s thigh. Jungwoo laughs at her reaction.

Both teams seem to just pass around the ball to wind down time before the referee blows the whistle to signal half time. Jungwoo springs up to head to the kitchen. Jungwoo asks if she needs anything, but Ella just waves her hand to indicate she’s fine. Ella needs a few moments to wallow in her misery. In the middle of her self pity, she feels someone land on the couch next to her.

“Ooooh you two are getting cozy,” Yuta comments.

Ella rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing. I’m nice to everyone.”

“You can lie as much as you want, but I know you better than that.” Yuta nudges her arm. “Really though, he’s a good guy. You guys are getting along. You obviously think he’s hot. I saw you chase after him and go to the kitchen.”

“Can we not talk about this right now? He’s the enemy. I have a bet to win.”

“Hate sex is a thing you know.”

“Don’t imagine that, please,” Ella groans, rubbing her forehead.

“Are you imagining it?” Yuta gives Ella a quizzical look. “You totally are! I won’t tell him. Do you. Or rather, do him.”

“Do who?” Jungwoo chimes in right as Ella picks up a pillow to smack Yuta while he’s laughing.

“The only thing I’m doing is going to the restroom,” Ella replies as she gets up.

Yuta continues laughing at his own joke and Ella smacks him with a pillow before she heads to the restroom to freshen up. The game is tied 1-1 and she really needs to channel some positive energy into Liverpool. She freshens up and grabs a bottle of water from the kitchen then settles back into the couch next to Jungwoo.

“Here. I got you some pizza.” Jungwoo hands her a plate with 2 slices of cheese pizza. “I can’t have you throw up on me.”

“Wow, that’s really all you care about?” Ella scoffs.

“I care about you! You should eat. Win or lose, your health is most important” Jungwoo replies. The pizza may have lost its oven fresh heat, but the gesture is still sweet. If she wasn’t trying to fight for her team's honor, Ella would probably kiss Jungwoo.

“Thanks,” Ella meekly says as she turns her attention to the pizza. She hopes he can’t see her blush while she’s nibbling on the pizza.

The second half starts and Ella’s nerves are back. Both teams are picking up momentum and creating chances for a goal. Feeling her stomach churn every time either side attempts to score, Ella puts the pizza on the coffee table. She nervously taps her foot and hopes Liverpool can keep possession if they can’t score a goal.

“Have you thought about what you want if you win?” Jungwoo tries to break the tension. He leans back into the couch.

“No, have you?” Ella asks. Following Jungwoo’s actions, she leans back too.

Jungwoo looks like he’s in deep thought when the game commentator starts screaming. They bring their attention back to the TV and watch Manchester City score their 2nd goal in the 88th minute.

“OH FUCK.” Ella deflates on the couch. Jungwoo is high-fiving everyone, almost spilling Taeyong’s beer on him.

“Well, that’s it then,” Jungwoo says. He plops down on the couch

“There’s still extra time.” Ella knows it’s unlikely to win, but if Liverpool can scrap up a draw, then maybe she might have some hope.

“Don’t worry. Even if I win the bet, you’ll still feel like a winner too,” Jungwoo says with a playful look.

The remaining minutes of the game are uneventful and Man City grabs the win, much to Jungwoo’s delight. Jungwoo spreads his arms inviting Ella in for a hug. Ella shoves his shoulder away instead.

“Aww don’t be like that! That’s not good sportsmanship. Or sportswomanship!” Jungwoo complains. He slowly inches closer to Ella. She rolls her eyes and finally relents. She would be lying if she didn’t admit that Jungwoo gave great hugs. Yuta looks over in their direction and gives Ella a look that says he’s definitely interrogating her later.

“There you go! That’s the spirit!” Jungwoo commends, patting her back.

“Congratulations. Have you thought about what you want?” Ella asks

“Already in a rush to claim the prize?”

“I’m pretty sure you won and it’s your prize.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it just as much as I will!” Ella feels nervous as Jungwoo takes his time to contemplate what to ask for.

“Don’t leave me in suspense!”

“Okay! Okay!” Jungwoo raises his hands in defense. “My first reward is that we exchange numbers.”

She hands Jungwoo her phone and watches him add his number. He texts himself from her phone to make sure he has her number too. Ella was hoping for something grander, but she’ll settle for that now. A part of her was hoping he wouldn’t stick to being a gentleman as he said before.

The rest of the weekend passes by in a blur and Ella finds herself back at work too soon for her liking. She’s looking through her email inbox when Yuta comes in and smacks her on the shoulder.

“Good morning!” Yuta shouts at her. He plops down on her desk, causing a few stray papers to crumple. Ella opens her mouth to complain until Yuta shoves an iced coffee in her face.

“Thanks Yuta. I desperately need caffeine,” Ella says, taking the iced coffee from Yuta.

“Soooo tell me about you weekend, my dear friend.”

“I did laundry on Sunday.”

“And Saturday.” Yuta gives her a pointed look as he sips his coffee.

“I was at your house to watch a Liverpool match,” Ella deadpans. She knows he’s trying to weasel all the gossip out of her.

“Yes, tell me more. More than just the game and where you were. Tell me all the other details.”

“What are you trying to get at?” Ella squints at Yuta. She knows what he’s after

“This development of you and Jungwoo. Don’t think we didn’t notice!”

Ella rolls her eyes and turns back to her laptop. “Thanks for the coffee, Yuta. These emails aren’t going to delete themselves.”

“Don’t ignore me! I’ll get my answers at lunch!” Yuta gets up and leaves to his desk on the other side of the divider in front of Ella.

Ella turns back to her email. She has a few design mockup requests from clients she needs to get to this week. Some clients were better with their requirements than others. She was already dreading the long email chains and meeting after meeting with clients who couldn’t describe their requirements well. She knows at some point during the week she has to set up some time to work with Yuta on a project for one of their bigger clients. She knew the cat would be out of the bag by then and Yuta’s nosiness would only get worse.

Jungwoo (9:02 AM): Good morning beautiful ❤️

Ella feels a little flustered seeing Jungwoo call her beautiful.

“Thank God Yuta left already,” Ella thinks to herself. If he saw the message, he’d never let her live in peace.

Ella and Jungwoo spent the entire Sunday texting back and forth, but Yuta didn’t need to know that. She learned that he’s a Mechanical Engineer, which she hadn't expected at all. They talked a lot about their lives and interests. Ella was glad she was getting to know him better and didn’t let a football rivalry get in their way.

Ella (9:03 AM): Good morning! Don’t you have work to do?

Jungwoo (9:03 AM): But I like talking to you!!!!! Talk to me!!!!!

Ella (9:10 AM): Can’t right now. Maybe in a few hours? Yuta is going to grill me at lunch 💀

Jungwoo (9:11 AM): I’m bigger than him. I’ll hurt him!!!

Ella turns her phone face down and turns back to her laptop. She has a design draft halfway completed that she wants to get done before lunch. She puts her hair up in a messy bun and gets back to work.

Lunch time comes around sooner than anticipated. Yuta’s head pops up from the other side of the divider.

“Ready for lunch? I’m starving,” Yuta announces as he stretches.

“Yeah let’s go. Poke?” Ella suggests. She grabs her purse and phone and walks towards the door.

“You read my mind!” Yuta follows closely behind.

They complain about their workload on their short walk over to the Poke restaurant. Although it was nice they had a constant stream of clients, they needed more designers to balance the workload. After ordering their food, they settle down at a table by the window.

“It’s so nice outside. It’s criminal that we have to work indoors,” Ella comments as she digs in.

“Hmm, yeah,” Yuta gives a short reply, as he scarfs down his food. “Enough about that. Now tell me about Jungwoo!”

“What do you mean ‘tell me about Jungwoo’? He’s your friend! You know more about him than I do!” Ella replies. She knows what he’s getting at, but refuses to give into his demands for gossip so quickly.

“You know what I mean! You two have something going on!”

Ella rolls her eyes. “It’s not like that! We just had a bit of friendly competition and banter on Saturday and we’ve been talking.”

“Uh huh, right. ‘Banter’. Next thing you know, you’ll end up in bed together!” Yuta accuses, pointing his fork at Ella.

“Can’t you keep it down! We’re in public!” Ella whispers.

“Everyone could do with some gossip on a boring Monday.” Yuta shrugs. “Whatever is going on with you two, I approve.”

“God, you're not my dad!” Ella rubs her forehead. She knows Yuta isn’t going to let this conversation go easily.

“Thank God for that!” Yuta agrees. “Anyway, all of this was part of my master plan anyway. I guess Johnny was too tall. Taeyong was too pretty. Jungwoo is slightly shorter and I guess slightly less pretty.”

“Johnny and Taeyong are also very much taken,” Ella points out. “And why are you insulting Jungwoo behind his back?”

“I’m not! There’s no point in being the tallest or prettiest. He has the right amount of both,” Yuta explains, shoving the last spoonful of his Poke in his mouth.

“I’m going to expect updates!” Yuta says. He gets up to throw away his empty bowl and trash.

Ella looks at her phone notifications and sees 10 texts from Jungwoo. She’ll have to read them once she’s back at her desk. She can’t risk Yuta’s prying eyes seeing the messages. Once Yuta’s back, they leave and take their post-lunch walk before they head back into the office.

After she settles back into her chair, Ella pulls out her phone and goes through Jungwoo’s messages. The texts have jumped from 10 unread to 20 unread messages. Most of the texts are of Jungwoo sulking about Ella ignoring his texts.

Ella (1:10 PM): Sorry, just got back from lunch with Yuta

Jungwoo (1:11 PM): I thought you ghosted me! But I forgive you. I don’t want you to starve.

Jungwoo (1:11 PM): What was he grilling you about?

Ella (1:12 PM): You duh lol

Jungwoo (1:12 PM): ME??

Ella (1:13 PM): Actually about us

Jungwoo (1:14 PM): He’s just jealous. He doesn’t have what we have.

Ella (1:15 PM): What? Soccer rivalry?

Jungwoo (1:16 PM): OK that and he’s not as hot as us

Ella takes a moment to think how to reply when she sees Jungwoo typing again. She decides to wait and see what he says before replying.

Jungwoo (1:18 PM): Speaking of us…I believe I’m owed a 2nd wish. Let’s grab dinner Friday night? At the new Brazilian Steakhouse you mentioned?

Ella (1:20 PM): Sure! I’ll meet you there at 7?

Jungwoo (1:20 PM): It’s a date 😉

Ella feels butterflies thinking about their date. Suddenly all of her work seems a lot less important than planning her attire for her date. She makes a mental note to go through her closet as soon as she gets home.

Fortunately, the work week breezes by quickly. Unfortunately, it’s Friday afternoon and Ella still hasn't decided what to wear on her date. Although they aren’t dining at a formal restaurant, Ella wants to dress up a little this time. Sorting through her dresses, she finally settles on an off-the-shoulder forest green dress that sits right above her knee.

With her outfit picked out she does her makeup. She decides to do a bronze smokey eye to accentuate the bronze glow of her skin and complement the color of the dress. Ella decided to do a nude mauve lip. She curls her black hair into even waves and sets the waves with hairspray. After she’s done with hair and makeup, she changes into her dress. After surveying her look in the mirror, she decides to put some bronzer and highlighter on her collarbones to accentuate them. After she’s satisfied with her work, she checks the time -- 6:15 PM. She had to put her jewelry and shoes on now if she wanted to be on time.

Ella picks out a pair of golden strappy stilettos to wear with the dress. She accessorizes her outfit with gold hoop earrings and several gold bangles on her right wrist. She does a final check in the mirror and is finally satisfied with her appearance. This look definitely had the glam factor to balance her casual look from last Saturday.

Grabbing her purse, Ella rushes out of her apartment to meet her Uber. The Uber ride takes about 25 minutes and Ella arrives at 6:55 PM. She sees Jungwoo check in with the host as she walks into the restaurant. When Jungwoo turns around and sees Ella walk in, she notices his eyes widening.

“Wow.” Jungwoo keeps scanning her from head to toe.

“Hello to you too, Jungwoo,” Ella greets. She giggles at his reaction.

“I forgive you for being a Liverpool fan. I might even become a Liverpool fan now,” Jungwoo replies. He comes closer to give her a hug. Ella laughs and smacks Jungwoo’s arm away.

“I tried to look good for you too!” Jungwoo points to himself. He did look good. He’s wearing a beige sweater, which accentuates his wide shoulders, and black jeans.

“Okay fine, you look good too,” Ella says, going in to give him a hug.

“Of course I do. I did it all for you,” Jungwoo whispers in her ear. Ella buries her face in his chest hoping he doesn’t notice her blushing.

“Sir, your table is ready,” their host announces. They jump apart quickly and follow the host to their table. Ella keeps her head down to hide her embarrassment as she makes her way to the table.

The host explains to them how the ordering will work. The waiters will come around with different cuts of meat and give them a slice. They each get a green card and red card - green to indicate to the waiter they would like more meat and red to indicate they don’t. They both order a glass of red wine. While they wait for their wine to arrive, their waiter serves them a basket of Pão de Queijo, Brazilian cheese bread, and their salads.

“You know, I’m really surprised you’re a Mechanical Engineer,” Ella says before taking a bite of Pão de Queijo. The bread tastes like a deliciously cheesy cloud and she has to stop herself from moaning.

“Why? Do I look dumb?” Jungwoo asks, holding his Pão de Queijo next to his pouting lips.

“No, no! That’s not what I mean! It’s just that you look, I don’t know, you’re tall and handsome.” Ella hopes she didn’t offend him.

“Just say you think I’m really hot. Is a hot nerd one of your fantasies?” Jungwoo teases.

“Let’s see if you get to find out,” Ella says with a glint in her eye. She isn’t going to let him win so easily.

A waiter comes by with some meat and they start piling up their plates. They compare which cuts and marinades they like the most.

“Say ‘aah’. Let me put this meat in you,” Jungwoo

Ella leans back and gives him a pointed look.

“What? You don’t want my meat?” Jungwoo asks suggestively.

“Just that little piece?” Ella leans forward and whispers, “You need to give a girl the full experience.”

Jungwoo chuckles. “I was waiting for you to ask, babe.”

Jungwoo leans over and places the meat closer to Ella’s mouth. Ella looks into Jungwoo's eyes and bites the meat off the fork. She leans back and slowly chews. They seem to be having a staring contest, which neither wants to lose. Ella slides her right foot slowly up his left leg while maintaining eye contact. Her foot makes it up to his thigh before Jungwoo squirms and closes his eyes.

“That’s cheating!” Jungwoo grabs her ankle.

“Hey, no one said there were rules.” Ella laughs.

“Babe, you don’t want to play dirty with me,” Jungwoo warns. He slowly moves his hand up her calf.

“Maybe I do.” Ella smirks and drinks the last bit of her wine. “I came here to win.”

“Your place or mine? I’ll grab the bill now or I’ll do you right here.” Jungwoo leans over, letting go of her leg.

“Mine. I’ll call an Uber,” Ella replies. Her clothes were probably strewn everywhere in the bedroom, but at least the rest of her apartment was spotless. She couldn’t be as sure about Jungwoo’s place and didn’t want the potential mess to ruin her night.

Jungwoo gently places a kiss on her cheek and walks over to a waiter to pay their bill. Once he’s out of sight, Ella pops a mint in her mouth and requests an Uber. Jungwoo comes back soon and they leave the restaurant hand in hand.

Their Uber arrives a minute after they leave the restaurant. Ella rests her left hand on Jungwoo’s thigh. She teases him the whole ride by slowly moving her hand up his thigh and giving his thigh light squeezes. Jungwoo silently curses and grabs her hand to prevent her from going any higher. Fortunately, they arrive at Ella’s apartment sooner than their estimated time and they scramble out of their Uber quickly.

“Thank God! Another minute in there and I would’ve started making out wit you in the back seat!” Jungwoo exhales.

“Can’t keep it in, huh? You’re really playing to lose,” Ella comments.

Jungwoo stands behind her and grabs her hips. “If it means we’ll take our clothes off sooner, I’ll gladly lose.”

She giggles at his impatience and quickly types in her apartment code.

“Just a few more minutes. And no funny business in the elevators. I can’t have a Man City fan ruining my rep in public,” Ella jokingly warns.

Jungwoo back hugs Ella and moves close to her ear to whisper, “Don’t worry. I like to do my ruining in private.”

Ella giggles as they make their way into the elevator and presses the “5” button for her floor. Thankfully, the elevator goes straight to her floor and they’re at her door soon. Ella tries to focus on opening the door while Jungwoo is pressing light kisses to her neck. Finally, she finally manages to get the door open despite the distractions. Jungwoo pushes them in and quickly pins her to the door, causing it to slam closed.

“Fucking finally!” Jungwoo shouts.

Jungwoo dives in for a kiss. He slides his hand up from her cheek and grabs her hair. Ella can feel the pent up frustrations from the way he deepens the kiss. He breaks their kiss to trail soft kisses down her neck sending shockwaves of pleasure through Ella. He finds the sensitive spot on her neck and begins sucking. His actions make Ella quiver, causing him to smirk.

“Fuck, Jungwoo,” Ella moans.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Jungwoo asks.

She points to the closed door on the opposite side of the apartment. Jungwoo goes to lift her up, before she stops him.

“I’d fuck you in these stilettos, but shoes on my bed are an absolute no.” Ella starts untying her right shoe. As good as her whole look was, she was now wishing she opted for easier shoes to get out of.

“We’ll do that somewhere else next time, Princess.” Jungwoo bends down and helps her out of her other shoe.

Once Ella’s shoes are off, Jungwoo throws her over her shoulder and heads to her bedroom. He pushes her door open and throws her on the bed. He makes quick work of taking off his sweater. Ella gasps at how ripped he is. She had felt through his clothes he was toned, but seeing his abs up close was a different kind of thrill.

Jungwoo hovers above Ella and gives her shoulder light kisses.

“Where’s the zipper?” Jungwoo asks.

Ella takes his right hand and leads it to the zipper on the back of her dress. He hastily unzips her dress, almost breaking the zipper. She slips out and tosses the dress to the side onto the pile of rejected clothes for their date. Ella unhooks her strapless bra and tosses aside as well.

“God, since I saw you in this dress, I wanted nothing more than to take it off,” Jungwoo confesses.

“Well, are you going to do anything or just talk?” Ella questions. She crawls back to Jungwoo on the bed.

Jungwoo laughs before he seals their lips. This time he moves slower, relishing the feeling of her pouty lips against his. Ella tugs his lip and lightly swipes his lower lip with her tongue to push him to pick up the pace.

“Anxious?” Jungwoo questions. He begins to trail kisses down her neck, chest and torso. He softly licks below her belly button to the hem of her underwear before he slides her underwear off. He moves his fingers down her folds, feeling her wetness.

“So wet already. You really want me, huh.” Jungwoo continues rubbing his fingers on her folds to tease her.

She gives his head a light shove, inciting a laugh from Jungwoo. He slowly rubs her clit, causing her to tremble. She arches her back when she feels him lick up her pussy. His tongue focuses on licking her clit as he slowly inserts a finger. She tangles her fingers in his hair giving it a slight tug encouraging him to continue. He adds another finger and pumps his fingers faster. The sensations drive Ella to dig her heels into Jungwoo’s back.

Jungwoo slips his fingers out causing Ella to whine. He begins kissing her while he reaches down to unbuckle his belt and slip his jeans off. Ella slides her hand down his abs, caressing his solid muscles. Her hand makes its way down to his boxers, feeling his hardness through the fabric.

“Don’t worry about that,” Jungwoo says. He shakes her hand off and hastily takes off his boxers.

“I just want to be inside you already.” He gives his already hard cock a few strokes. “Condom?”

Ella points to her night stand. Jungwoo quickly rips open the packet and puts on the condom.

“Ready?”

“I’ve been ready for hours.” Ella grabs the back of Jungwoo’s head and gives him a kiss.

Jungwoo breaks the kiss and laughs at Ella’s impatience. Ella leans back on a pillow and Jungwoo places soft kisses on her shoulder before he lines himself up to her entrance. He slowly enters Ella’s pussy.

“God,” Ella moans. Her toes curl from the pleasure she feels.

“Keep calling me your God. I’m going to fuck you like one.”

Jungwoo picks up the pace and thrusts deeper each time. The sensations cause Ella to wrap her legs around Jungwoo’s hips, trying to feel more of him. He reaches down to rub her clit, causing Ella to shake in pleasure. Ella feels her orgasm building up and digs her nails deeper in his back.

“I’m gonna come,” Ella’s voice comes out in a whisper.

Jungwoo rubs her clit faster and her orgasm finally hits her. Her pussy pulses as she rides out her orgasm. Jungwoo thrusting becomes more erratic and he takes a few more strokes before he comes too. He collapses on top of her after he’s done, almost crushing Ella's body. She’s reeling with the sensations of her orgasm and how much bigger he is than her. Jungwoo gets up after he catches his breath and discards the used condom in the bin. He slips back into the bed and snuggles close to Ella. They lay entangled together, basking in each other’s presence.

“If you won, what would you have wished for?” Jungwoo asks, after he places a soft kiss on Ellas lips.

“You really want to know that?” Ella raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I can handle it.”

Ella laughs. “I would’ve just asked to fuck.”

Jungwoo gasps. “Seriously? Did you think I was that easy? I told you I’m a gentleman!”

“You just said you wanted to rip my clothes off at the restaurant!”

“But we got to know each other first at least!”

“Whatever you say, Jungwoo. I’m sleepy. We can discuss our kinks in the morning.” Ella curls up closer to Jungwoo.

“After the Man City match.” Jungwoo muffles into her hair.

“NO! You’re not watching that trash here!” Ella shoves Jungwoo away.

“Please? We can go for round 2 before and I’ll get us breakfast.” Jungwoo pleads.

Ella contemplates for a moment. “I’ll think about it. Now let me sleep.”

Ella cuddles up to Jungwoo and rests her head on his shoulder. Maybe sleeping with the enemy wasn’t such a bad idea.

#jungwoo #jungwoo scenarios #jungwoo smut #jungwoo x reader #nct scenarios #jungwoo fanfic #nct fanfic #comedy #romantic comedy #smut #nct smut #strangers to lovers

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beautifulterriblequeen · 3 years ago

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Trickster: an Ethari theory

I've had yea many Ethari headcanons, and I hope I live to have yea many more. Most of them are probably wrong, or incomplete at best. But boy are they fun.

I love to wonder what Ethari will really be like in canon when we get to know him for more than 3 minutes, but whoever he really is on his own, he will have an effect on Runaan , Rayla, and everyone who loves him, because they love him.

The first headcanon I can remember having for "Tinker" was that he could be like Leonardo da Vinci: a genius, creative, surrounded by beautiful ideas given shape by his hands, but also capable of creating deadly weapons, enchantments, and devices with equal beauty, and perhaps not really seeing where the line between them was. It was fun, but Ethari has ended up far softer than my headcanon, and I love and support him in his softness!

After a nice string of Ethari headcanons, this year I've started poking at the Trickster archetype and seeing if it applies to him. And I think it absolutely does!

Tricksters often seem like Chaos. But they're not. They're just Difference. "Chaos" is subjective. Like the "divergent" in "neurodivergent." Who says? Divergent from what, exactly? Perspective matters, and Tricksters have a very broad take on things which allows them to think outside any box people might try to invite them into.

My enjoyment of Loki has brought all kinds of ideas to my dash with the arrival of the Loki show. I've got a copy of the Edda, and I highlighted the hell out of it a couple of years ago as I searched for the roots of Loki's origin story. (It's truly fascinating reading and the symbolic language hidden inside their poetry is dazzlingly amazing and I'm super using it sometime just so you know)

Loki is a Trickster, and he's far from alone in myth and legend. Anansi, Coyote, and Sun Wukong are some you may have heard of. Aaravos is another, of course. Tricksters can be called upon to lend aid and wisdom when the rules don't have an answer for some extraordinary circumstance which the Trickster's people find themselves in. But that's not because they are truly outside the rule of order. They are actually a part of it. They are the catch-all for when the everyday ordinary rules fail people, and something "unthinkable"--in the literal sense--might just hold the answer.

This post crossed my dash today, and something finally clicked in my head, and all of this coalesced from what felt like separate places. But they're not separate, not anymore! Serotonin, baby. It's basically upped my headcanon to a full-blown theory.

What caught my eye was an answer to why Ethari's clothing is so determinedly asymmetrical, compared to Runaan's specifically, but Moonshadows in general. It's because of this:

Long protective sleeves below patterns on shoulders. A high collar paired with a bright and noticeable swoop around the neck. Fine detailing and graceful taste. Asymmetrical tunic point on the left, below broad strappy leather. Knee high boots with stylish protective gaiters.

And let's not forget the curling horns! In some comics, Loki has a broken horn. So does Ethari.

Yes, there is a lot of similarity here, but I'm not focused so much on the visuals as the reason they were chosen. Feel free to consider other aspects of Ethari's personality and how they might be similar to certain parts of Loki's. I did! But I wouldn't be me if I didn't go deeper than that.

My favorite book in the universe (so far) is Lois McMaster Bujold's The Curse of Chalion, and one of the many reasons why is because of her pantheon. It holds five gods, represented by a hand: Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, and Bastard. The first four all have their roles and places. The Bastard--the thumb--inherits everything else. He is the god of all things that do not belong to any other gods, and that includes self-sacrificing vengeance and queerness. He is a Trickster, and his influence on Cazaril's life is far deeper than at first glance. Chaos has its place. It belongs, and so do the Tricksters who engender it. God, I love this book. Please read it if you haven't. Bujold's work is amazing.

If you've seen or read any version of MDZS/Untamed, you know that Wei WuXian is a trickster. Competent and badass in battle, but playful and teasing to the point where sometimes even he isn't sure what he truly wants, he can bring a massive amount of power and focus when he wants to. It's always a matter of "but is it important to me?"

I love WWX so much. The Trickster vibe is very apparent in his character, and in a way you just don't get in Western media. We see him on his own, and we see him with family and loved ones. And he's always feeling something so intensely! He's driven by his emotions, for good or ill. He vibes with chaos, and he will create it if it doesn't exist yet. But he will also create family from nothing, and that's something you don't see enough of! WWX is a Trickster with an emotional preference for joy.

In TDP, Ethari doesn't have a lot of lore yet. It's being Moonshadowed because spoilers for future seasons, and I respect that. The longer the wait for S4, the more ideas I will just amuse myself with in the meantime--and yeah, this is one of them, so what? :))) But we do know a little about him.

He loves music. He loves to read. He leaves his mark on things in swirly form. He works very hard, even through headaches, because what he's doing is that important to him, even though he would much rather be making jewelry. He loves taking the time to polish rough stones into brilliant jewels, and he adores big pretty flowers and had them at his wedding.

Ethari has a temper, but he also loves puns. The weapons he crafts are exquisite: "light, elegant, strong, and clever." And he knew darn well that Runaan was trying to flirt with him, but why return a sentiment he may or may not feel yet when he can play with the overly earnest assassin just a little bit first?

Okay, just... A "simple craftsman" deciding that it's going to be fun to toy for a bit with a broody assassin's feelings? Would you risk that? Ethari got balls the size of the moon, and a brain to match. When he has to make weaponry, he does not half-ass it. Ethari's stabby creations nearly have a life of their own. His creations are literally called "trick weapons." This elf is a lot, okay. And it's possible that he doesn't even know how "a lot" he is. Yet.

We're meeting Ethari after he's found something that is, in fact, genuinely important to him: Runaan, and Rayla, and Laindrin too. Ethari has found a relatively stable place to settle and find a role to adopt. I say adopt, though, because making weaponry for his loved ones is not what he grew up wanting to do. It's what he had to do to keep them safe, once he found a place to bestow his heart.

But in the show, Ethari has lost his family, one by one. First Lain and Tiadrin, ghosted. Then Runaan, supposedly fallen on his mission. Then Rayla, ghosted for abandoning Runaan. He and Rayla have reconnected now, but the rest of his family is still out of his reach. If Rayla has indeed told him, by S4, what she learned at the Moonhenge in TTM, then Ethari may parallel Rayla's journey to seek answers. But even if he doesn't know yet, and gets pulled into some other story arc first, we will be seeing Ethari without his family.

Remember the ATLA episode "Zuko Alone"? Consider: "Ethari Alone."

Ethari has chosen, for love, to fit himself into a box that wasn't of his own making. And now that box has broken. His family doesn't need him to be their craftsman anymore. Perhaps others will need him to be other things to them. Or perhaps he will know that his family does need him, but to be far more than just a maker of pretty swords. A rescuer, perhaps. A healer, a guide? An avenger?

A trickster. Capable of taking many shapes, because he understands them all. Ethari works with form and function. If he needs to transform himself, he will.

That's what Tricksters do. It's delightfully queer and delightfully neurodivergent. Ancient peoples accepted and revered the different among them and actively sought their help with things they themselves struggled with.

Tricksters are Difference. Sometimes that manifests as chaos, sometimes as genius. But if you do not love and appreciate your chaos, it will absolutely turn on you. Wei Wuxian did. Loki certainly has, many times. Perhaps Aaravos is doing so as well.

I cannot wait to see what Ethari does with his difference. I have something very specific that I hope he goes and breaks.

All this from a picture of Tom Hiddleston in his Avengers 1 Loki costume? Yeah. Because Ethari was designed to wear asymmetrical clothing, in a Moonshadow culture that prides itself on balance. Sure, there are some other Moonshadows who wear this or that asymmetrical item, and I do love to see it. But Ethari has the most asymmetrical lines of them all. The meta glee I feel knowing that Moonshadow elves are designed to hold many layers of meaning in their appearances--that the writers, creators, and character designers just flexed with them--is truly a delight.

Ethari is asymmetrical. The full and practical application of that is a glass casket, and I hope it becomes a gift that keeps on giving, because boy do I want to keep receiving it. But right now, I'm genuinely seeing evidence of the Trickster archetype in him. And I really hope it gets to come out and play.

#tdp #tdp theory #ethari #trickster #tdp speculation #yes this means a whole new category for ruthari opposites #order and chaos #ethari and order are both on runaan's list of likes #but ethari is higher so #loki #wwx #wei wuxian

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years ago

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X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol)

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol)

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you?

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???)

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic

- ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!!

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha)

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

- remy rogue

🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence

baby u r my

ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it)

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents)

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do

birds of a feather motherfucker

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet)

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha)

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go”

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most.

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage)

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s p r e t t y solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D:

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!!

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all)

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol)

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

#x men evolution #x men #gambit #rogue x gambit #aaah this is like therapy for me... just dumping all my emotions into a tumblr post and then let them go into the ether #I am now wondering if I'm desperate enough to go all the way back to the x-men animated series (which I've never seen before!)#like am I willing to go there for more Contente. time will tell I suppose #happy tag #...this is very long #MAN why can't I channel this dumbass energy into fiction writing I'd get so much DONE

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fuanteinasekai · 4 years ago

Photo

Time to talk volumes 25 and 26! I said I would translate the afterwords for both volumes together, and I have regrets. So, it’s a week late, but I finally finished.

Why did I put volumes 25 and 26 together? Because each contains about half of the 5 chapter long “Village of the Sleeping Vessel” arc, and because they were treated as two halves of a whole. As you can see above, both the cover illustrations and the afterword illustrations are part of a set: complementary Natori/Matoba covers and complementary Natsume/Tanuma illustrations. Because I’ve never compared these two pairings or anything.

The covers are interesting for the way they seem to reflect Natori and Matoba’s contrasting points of view. But I’m most personally interested in the afterword illustrations because they seem rather optimistic to me, and because they tell a story. While the first half was melancholy, and seemed to suggest that Natsume and Tanuma would be drawn to each other even if Natsume were hopelessly cut off from the human world, the second half seems to show Tanuma being able to cross that line and come see him anyway.

Anyway, author’s notes translation ahead!

Volume 25

お疲れ様でした。

この先ネタバルとなりますので最後に読んでいただけるち嬉しいです。

２５巻目となり夏目たちの関係性も変わりつつある中、夏目友人長を描き始めた頃にいつかやってみたいなと思っていたお話もやっと描けるようになってきました。話を思いつきつつも初期の頃の夏目やニャンコ先生でほうまくビジョンが浮かばずやれなかったものが少しづつ描き取れるようになってきました。

反対に初期これがやりたいと思いつつ、今の関係性ではもうそこはクリアしてしまったから描くことは出来なくなったなという話がいくつかあります。簡単には寄り添えなかった頃の夏目でしか表現出来ないような話が使えなくなった事が寂しいような、それもまた良いかと思えるような不思議な気持ちです。そんな描くには時期を外してしまった話も形や方向を変えてちゃんと育てていつかまた見えたらぜひ描いていってみたいと思っています。

Thank you for reading.

Spoilers follow, so please read this last.

With volume 25 and relationships between Natsume and others changing, I’m finally able to draw the stories I wanted to draw when I first began Natsume Yuujinchou. As I think up stories, I’ve been able to gradually write down things that I couldn’t draw in the beginning, when I didn’t have a clear vision for Natsume or Nyanko-Sensei.

On the other hand, there are things I wanted to draw in the beginning but can no longer do because that issue is already settled in the current relationship. To put it simply, it’s sad* that I can no longer use the kind of story that can only be expressed by a Natsume who doesn’t get close to others, but I have a funny feeling it’s also a good thing.** In order to draw that kind of story, I’d like to change the form and direction of the stories for which I missed the time period and develop them properly, and if I see a chance again I’d definitely like to draw one someday.

“Sad” here is sabishii, which is commonly translated as lonely or desolate, but can also refer to the melancholy of something no longer existing. ** Fun fact: she used this same “funny/strange feeling” expression when she said Tanuma was the reason for the “characteristic distance” between him and Natsume.

—

{Note: in addition to the afterword illustrations, Volume 25’s afterword background is illustrated with silhouettes of the Mid-rank yokai on their mission, as well as what appears to be Nishimura, Kitamoto, and Taki. Also the kitty brigade. Also Sensei in a suit for the anniversary bit. Volume 26 is arranged differently and does not have background illustrations. Additionally, the only mini illustration in 26 is this at the very beginning:

}

特別編21

16ページという事で何が入るか悩んだのですが中級達の得体の知れなさも出せるものを描いてみたいなとやってみました。連載が長いので時々、自分にこっそりお題を出して描く事があるのですが（例えば『つきひぐい』の回はモノローグ禁止とか）せっかく小ページの回なので「主人公を描かない」を。けれど描いてみて夏目が出ていないとなんとなく閉鎖的な感じもして、そこが新鮮でもあり反面、異種間の緩衝材的な存在は大事だなと再確認した回でした。

Special 21

I was worried about what I could fit into 16 pages, but I wanted to try to draw something that would display the mysteriousness of the Mid-Rank yokai. As the series is so long, I sometimes draw something where a secret problem for myself appears (for example, in “Tsukihigui” monologues were forbidden). For these rare few pages, it was “the protagonist can’t appear.” But when I started drawing it, it somehow felt closed off without Natsume appearing, and while that was novel on the one hand, it also reaffirmed that some kind of buffer between species was important.

—

第百·百一·百ニ話～　依代*の眠る里

百回記念日という事で担当さんと話し合って久しぶりに長めのお話を描かせていただけることになり感激でした。いつもな��登場したらすぐ帰ってしまうキャラ達をもう少しじっくり描けるのは本当に嬉しくて。

初期から描いてみたい話だったのでワクワクしつつも、アレと同じ形がいっぱいいたと言う事にジョックを受ける方もいるのではと気を引き締めながら描きました。田沼やタキといる時は自然でいられるようになってきた夏目ですが、祓い屋としての名取や的場といる時は強くあろうとする面があるのか、かえってそういうものが意外に脆さになるのかも知れないなと描いていて感じました。

成長したから出てくる不安定なものも描きとっていけたらなと思っています。

Chapter 100, 101, 102: Village of the Sleeping Vessel

I was moved when, after talking with my editor about commemorating the 100th chapter, I was given a chance to write the first long story in a long time. I was really happy to be able to put a little more care into characters that normally leave as soon as they appear.

At the same time as I was excited to be able to do a story I’ve wanted to draw since the beginning, I was also bracing myself that some people would be shocked by so many of the same shape. Natsume has gotten to the point where he can be natural around Tanuma or Taki, but with exorcists like Natori or Matoba, there’s a side where he tries to be strong, and I felt while drawing like that sort of thing might, all the more, unexpectedly turn fragile.

I think it would be nice if I could keep drawing uncertain** things that appear as a result of growing up.

* “Vessel” here explicitly refers to vessels designed to be occupied by kami, known as yorishiro.

** This “uncertain” is actually the same “unstable” that she used when talking about Natsume and Tanuma’s “unstable worlds,” (aka my blog title) so I was a little startled to see it here! It’s also super-vague, which always makes me Suspicious.

—

特別編22 ８ページという事で悩みました。小ページだからいっそいっぱい描きたいキャラを出そうと言う事でみんなに話を聞いてまわる話にしてみたいなと。パトロールは大事ですよね。

Special 22

I was worried about there being [only] 8 pages. Since there are so few pages, I thought of filling it with characters I wanted to draw, and I wanted to go around talking to everyone. The patrol is very important, isn’t it?

—

Special Anniversary Notes:

こんにちは、緑川です。夏目友人帳、２５冊目となりました。何度目であろうと　こうして一冊にしていただく度、緊張と嬉しさを噛み締めております。相変わらず漫画を描く楽しさや難しさと格闘しておりますが面白く読んでいただけるものが描けるよう頑張っていきたいと思っております。どうぞよろしくお願い致します。

Hello, This is Midorikawa. We’ve reached Volume 25 of Natsume Yuujinchou. No matter how many times it happens, whenever I get a new volume like this, I enjoy the tension and happiness. As usual, I’m still grappling with the enjoyment and the difficulty of drawing manga, but I’d like to do my best to be able to draw something that’s fun to read. Thank you very much.

長い間、コミックスでお馴染みだった、左端の1/4コーナーですが、この巻からなくなっております。雑誌では広告が入る場所で、ネームの時は展開やシーンのタイミングを見ながらどこへ入れるか悩ましいスペースだったのですが、コミックス化の際にはなかなかお伝えする機会がないご挨拶やお礼を書き込めた思い出深いスペースでした。

The 1/4 space on the left side of the page has been familiar in comics for a long time, but it’s missing from this volume. It’s a space for advertisements in a magazine, but when I’m captioning, I worry about where to place it while looking at development and scene timing. But it was a space full of memories for me, where I was able to writing greetings and acknowledgments I hadn’t really had a chance for when it was turned into a comic.

夏目100回記念

長く続けさせていただき連載100回目を迎えることが出来ました。本当にありがとうございました。「依代の眠る里（第一回）」が丁度百回目となり、掲載号ではLaLaの先生方がご協力くださりそれぞれの作品のどこかにこっそりと隠れニャンコ先生を描いてくださいました。とても可愛いニャンコ先生をたくさん描いてただけて、ご協力いただいた先生方や企画を考えてくださった編集部様方や読んでくださってきた読者様方に感謝で胸がいっぱいになりました。大事に致します。

Natsume’s 100th Anniversary

After a long run, the 100th chapter of the series has arrived. Thank you very much. When the exact 100th chapter (Village of the Sleeping Vessel Chapter 1) went to print, the LaLa senseis [mangakas] cooperated to secretly hide Nyanko-sensei in each of their works. I am full of gratitude to those who drew so many super cute Nyanko-senseis, to the editorial staff who planned it, and to the readers. Take care.

お手紙

お手紙とても励みになります。可愛いイラストを描いてくださったり、素敵なお話をきかせてくださったり、思いを込めて感想を書いてくださったり、とても嬉しく大切に読ませていただいています。なかなかお返しできませんがまた楽しんでいただけるよう頑張っていきたいと思っています。

Letters

Letters are very encouraging. I’m very happy to carefully read your letters: the cute illustrations, lovely stories, and thoughtful impressions. I can’t really answer them, but I want to do my best to keep appreciating them.

Volume 26

{Note: Volume 26 does not have an overall commentary, just the usual “thanks for reading, please save this for last.” Also both volumes have an acknowledgements section I did not translate. Please spare me.}

第百三·百四話依代の眠る里

久しぶりに長めのお話を描けて本当に嬉しかったです。読切形式だといつも途中でもう次は何をと頭がいっぱいになりますが、こうしてすぐに締めずに展開できるととてもワクワクして漫画家になりたかった頃の気持ちが思い出されました。短く切ってしまいたくない話も沢山あるのでまた機会がありましたら読んでいただけると幸せです。ずっとやりたかった依代の里のお話でしたが今の心境になれた夏目だから帰れた話でもあるのかなと感じました。同業だからの連帯認識とその時の考えで会う度に変化していく名取と的場の微妙な立場も描き取っていきたいです。絆ある友人を人事ている夏目、祓い屋である事でも力になれるはずだと信じている名取、おおくを知り見る事は出来ている故動く事が出来ない事もある的場、きっと力になれるはずなのに同行できない田沼、秘密を見守る猫達、ニャンコ先生、描きたいものがいっぱい描けて楽しかったです。そしてもっとこの話で描きたかったなと思っている事もあるのでまたしっかり練って描いていきたいです。

Chapters 103, 104: Village of the Sleeping Vessel

I was really happy to write a long story for the first time in a while. With standalone stories, my head is always already full of what I’m going to do next when I’m halfway through, but this time I was really excited to be able to develop the story without immediately bringing it to a close. It reminded me of how I felt when I first became a mangaka. There are many other stories I don’t want to cut short, so if I get another chance I’d be happy for them to be read. I’ve wanted to do the Yorishiro Village story for a long time, but with Natsume’s current state of mind I feel like there are probably other stories I could return to. I also want to keep drawing Natori and Matoba’s delicate position, which changes whenever they meet because of the sense of solidarity as colleagues, and because of their thoughts in the moment. I was happy to be able to draw so many of the things I wanted to draw: Natsume who believes in his close friend[s], Natori who believes he should be able to support [Natsume] even though he’s an exorcist, Matoba who sometimes can’t act because he is able to know and see so much, Tanuma who surely should have been able to support [Natsume] but couldn’t accompany him, the cats who keep a secret, and Nyanko-sensei. Also, sometimes I think about how I wanted to draw this story even more, so I want to keep polishing it up properly.*

* A little confused by present tense here. Maybe she wrote this note while they were still editing between magazine and tankobon?

—

第百五話　クッキーと森の入り口

里から帰った夏目は田沼に色々報告せねばならないのではと思い出来たお話です。ニャンコ先生について、妖絡みで仕事をしている人達について。けれど隣あってみると話すというより一緒に何かやっているうちに気持ちの整理がついていき、夏目なりに田沼への報告が出来たのではと��じました。アニメグッズで担いだ風呂敷に穴が空いていてみかんを落としているニャンコ先生を��いてくださった絵があるのですが、ああいう可愛いお話も描きたいと思っていたのを思い出しました。

Chapter 105 Cookies and The Forest Entrance

This is a story that developed out of the thought that Natsume had a lot he needed to tell Tanuma when he came back from the village. About Nyanko-Sensei, about people who work with yokai issues. But when I saw them side by side, I felt that rather than talking, Natsume would sort out his feelings while they did something together, and that he would be able to report to Tanuma in his own way. There’s an anime merchandise illustration of Nyanko-Sensei dropping satsumas from a hole in the furoshiki slung over his shoulders,* and it reminded me that I wanted to draw a story with something cute like that.

*Good news! I found the merch:

—

第百六·百七話　亡き友を訪ねて

依島さんは２０巻目の「とおかんや」といお話で夏目と先生と名取が会いに行った元祓い屋です。２４＋３２ページでは入らないかなとも思ったのですが、ずっと描きたかった話で、依代の里をやった今描いておきたいと入れさせていただきました。依島さんを描く時は時代を少し離れて描けるような気がして楽しいです。夏目と対等の妖力を持つ相手との行動も描けて新鮮でした。そんな力ある先輩が事情があるにしろ辞めて引き篭もっている現状は後輩達には少し複雑なのではと思っています。賑やかな娘達、広いお屋敷、キラキラしていた空間に透けてくる侘しさのようなものに気付いてしまう瞬間の様なものも描いていけたらと思います。

Chapter 106-107 Visiting a Late Friend

Yorishima-san is a former exorcist who Natsume, Sensei, and Natori met in Volume 20, “Ten Days.” I was worried that it wouldn’t fit into 24+32 pages, but I’ve been wanting to draw this story for a long time, and now that the Yorishiro Village arc is done, I got to fit it in. When Yorishima-san appears, I feel like I get to draw something a little out of time, which is fun. It’s also refreshing to be able to draw Natsume doing something with someone who holds the same level of spiritual power. I wonder if it’s not a little complicated for the juniors when that kind of powerful senior goes into seclusion without regard for circumstances. I got caught up with the cheerful daughters, spacious mansion, and sense of refinement that sparkles through the space, and the time spent drawing seemed to pass in a flash. I wish I could have kept going.

#The text isn't showing up in drafts so please open if you want the translations.#This was really long and I'm out of practice #so there may be a few mistakes #But I think I at least got the ideas down #gonna go lay down for a while #spoilers #though minor #if you haven't read everything up through 2020

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vivvyinvienna · 4 years ago

Text

the night we met (draco malfoy)

A/N: heyo! this is my first fic so pls be nice :) i hope you guys enjoy it! xoxo

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: Draco is haunted by the memories of his dead lover. Post-Battle of Hogwarts. Inspired by the Lord Huron song “The Night We Met.”

Warnings: alcohol, cursing, depression, angst, violence, blood, major character death

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

I've been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself

What the hell I'm supposed to do

And then I can tell myself

Not to ride along with you

Draco languidly twirled the glass of firewhiskey in his hand. He watched as the amber liquid clung desperately to the sides before unfailingly slipping back. His drunken mind and hazy thoughts found amusement in it. They found amusement in a lot of things now. Like how he sat in front of the fireplace in a grand leather chair downing firewhiskey by the bottle every night; being every bit of the rich, spoiled Malfoy heir he was. Y/N would have told him that he was trying too hard to mourn in an aesthetic. And she would have been right.

The thought of her lifted him from his reverie. The glass of liquor stopped turning in his hand, instead it was brought to his lips, quickly downed in hopes of expelling her from his mind. In hopes of keeping out all the feelings that came alongside memories of her. It was why he drank in the first place, why he sat drunk and unrefined with his hair messed, shirt untucked, and suit rumpled.

But it didn’t work. It never really worked. Not even the strongest liquor from his father’s collection could rid his mind of her. Her lips, her touch, her soft breath on his shoulder from their last embrace was all tattooed on his soul. He didn’t really mind those. But it was the memories of her death, watching her body crumble and blood pour from her wounds, that made him want to obliviate himself. They stained his mind, weakened his body and ate at his soul.

After losing her at the Battle of Hogwarts, he constantly felt like he was a wandering traveler who’s path had run out. He was riddled with these feelings of guilt, sorrow, longing, and depression. There was always this painful feeling in his chest, like someone had a vice grip around his lungs and heart. While he was with Y/N there was always a nagging feeling that he was in debt to her. She had taught him the invaluable, that he could love and be loved. She had saved him in every manner a person could be saved. The feelings, thoughts, and pain he now faced was unrelenting, incessant, and unforgiving. He supposed it was a method of repaying his debt.

Looking towards the fireplace that was softly raging, he put down his glass. Chasing away the memories never worked, he didn’t know why he bothered trying every night. And with that, he resigned to his thoughts of her.

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

Draco was laying on her bed in her Hufflepuff dorm. The windows facing the rolling hills were drawn up, letting in the warm glow of sunset. It bathed the room in this honey tint that made him feel warm and blissful. Laying on his side, he stared at the Y/H/C haired girl at the desk who was intensely focused on her books and notes.

“Angel?”

Your quill paused and you turned to let your Y/E/C eyes meet his. He thought your eyes were the most beautiful thing, they held the beauty and intensity of a thousand stars in his mind. He found everything beautiful about you really. The way your hair framed your face. Your delicate fingers whenever they entangled with his. The way your rosy lips tilted into a smile when you looked up at him.

“Yes, Draco?”

You had a slight smile and an extra twinkle in your eye as you answered him because you knew exactly what he was going to ask next.

As predicted, the blonde boy strewn across your bed softly, adoringly, and a tinge whiningly said, “Come lay with me for a bit.”

Looking back and forth between him and the DADA homework on your desk, you pouted while responding “I still have so much of Umbridge’s work to do though.”

Draco let out a dramatic groan and flipped onto his back before answering, “ You’re killing me, Y/N. What do I need to do to convince you?”

The truth was Draco didn’t need to do anything to persuade you, you were sick of Umbridge’s busy work. And after feeling his gaze caress you all afternoon, you craved his touch. But you decided to have a bit of fun.

“It’s killed meh. It’s killed meh.” You mocked.

You never let him live down that accident from third year. He covered his eyes and laughed in embarrassment before retaliating, “At least I didn’t get sent to the hospital wing because of a plant. You’re supposed to be good at herbology, badger.”

You feigned offense, “That’s not the point. The point is, I didn’t put on an entire theatrical performance like you felt the need to.” And with that, you started to walk towards the Slytherin boy on your bed. He pulled the covers back for you to join him when he noticed your approach.

“Ok, ok, fine. Just get in already, I’m getting cold.”

Once you settled into his arms, he watched as you snuggled deeper into his chest. With your guys legs intertwined and his arms encasing you, his heart felt content and at peace. He had everything he needed and wanted right in his arms.

You tilted your face up, and while looking adoringly at Draco you whispered, “I love you, you know?”

He gave you a soft smile that made the cold ice of his eyes melt. Putting his forehead against yours, he gently nudged your nose with his.

“I know. And I love you...” he paused, refocusing his gaze into your eyes, “more than anything.”

You smiled as he captured your lips in a kiss.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Oh, take me back to the night we met

Back in his leather chair in the cold drawing room of the Manor, he barely noticed the silent tears that escaped from his eyes. Tears seemed to be a constant now. The beautiful memories of her angelic voice and soft kisses and honey tints were once things that bewitched him. Now, they only served as an agonizing reminder of what he had lost. He craved, he so utterly craved for her tender caress. He could feel his own desperation causing aches from his chest all the way to his finger tips. What he would give to feel her presence wrapped around him one more time.

With his head hung forward and his hands tugging at his hair, convulsive yet inaudible sobs wracked his beaten frame. He wanted her back. He wanted to hold her hand as they walked in the garden. He wanted to pepper her face with kisses until she playfully pushed him away. He wanted to hear her gleeful shouts as they rode his broom together. He wanted to meet her again for the first time and relive their time together. Merlin he just wanted her back.

All he could do now was reminisce of his memories of them together. He was faced with a constant inner battle. Reliving their memories eased the hurt for a little while. But when he came back to his senses and his reality, it brought a raging pain of its own.

Some nights he couldn’t help himself. He drank until his vision blurred and then walked around the Manor looking for signs of her, to spark memories that he watched like movies. Tonight would be one of those nights he realized after stumbling onto a very specific patio. It was the patio where they met.

When the night was full of terrors

And your eyes were filled with tears

When you had not touched me yet

Oh, take me back to the night we met

Your family had been invited to the Malfoy Summer Solstice Ball, as were all the other notable pureblood wizarding families. You had your mother’s penchant for fashion, choosing to wear a champagne colored satin gown from one of your favorite designers. You quite enjoyed the dressing up and the excessive extravagance, but it was the company that was pitiful. The lavishly decorated ball room was filled with witches and wizards either trying to produce marriage arrangements or devise business contracts. Despite being freshly 14 and only going into your fourth year at Hogwarts, you were approached with multiple horrendous proposals.

Sometime during the night after Rowle Sr. suggested your hand for his 22 year old son, you slipped out of the ballroom in search of some quiet. What you found however, was Draco Malfoy on a patio. As awful as his reputation, you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he was. It almost felt sacrilegious being so encaptured by the chisel of his cheekbones and the subtle arch of his brows. But he had the type of beauty that got into your bones and the moonlight only made him more enthralling.

Draco’s gaze settled on you a couple seconds after you had walked in. He recognized you, you were in the same herbology class. He’d never admit it but he always found the way your eyes flicked up from your paper to the person you were talking to, to be so subtly alluring.

Skipping over a normal greeting, his first word to you was merely, “Hufflepuff.” He had meant for it to be a question, but it came out a bit rougher than he anticipated. At least he hadn’t sneered.

True to your house’s values, you responded good naturedly, “Yes...and you’re in Slytherin.”

He nodded, pausing for a second as if contemplating whether to continue the conversation before asking, “Why are you out here?”

“Got tired of talking to old British men.” You answered honestly. “What about you? Why’d you come out here?”

He walked closer to where you were standing.

“Trying to get away from the witches,” he said as he leaned against the terrace railing.

You laughed lightly before jokingly asking, “The mothers? Or the girls?”

“Both,” he fiddled with his cufflinks. “Were the old British men trying to get you to marry their sons?”

“They were. None of them were very convincing though.”

“I hope my father didn’t try.”

“Would it be so terrible to be married to me?”

You could see a quick eyebrow raise from him, pleasantly surprised.

“I’m just concerned that our home decorating styles won’t match.” His voice lacked his usual bite and his face was without his habitual sneer.

“You know most people don’t choose their life partners based on interior design styles.”

Your comment elicited an amused huff from the blonde boy. “I wish my mother did, then I wouldn’t have to live in this ghastly manor.”

He was right, filled with antiques and dark artifacts, the manor was downright depressing. “It’s...” you struggled to find a non offensive description. “It has its own charm. You just have to romanticize it a bit.” You were unconvincing.

“This is why the sorting hat put you in Hufflepuff.”

“Better than Slytherin,” you retorted.

He wanted to laugh, even the idea of you in Slytherin was amusing. “You’d get eaten alive by our first-years.”

He was right, but that didn’t mean you let up, “Funny. Have you made anyone cry yet today?”

“No, but luckily it’s only 9 o’clock.”

The two of you talked long into the night. As he listened to your stories, random literary interpretations, and takes on the world he found himself more and more enamored. He was enamored with the little shrug you seemed to always end your rants in. Enamored with your laughs that always came at the right time when he talked. Enamored with the strange feeling in his gut he didn’t quite know how to identify when your hand briefly grazed his thigh.

Draco found your company to be tantalizingly novel. Sitting on adirondack chairs, sharing nothing but stories with you felt weirdly intimate. It felt like friendship, a word woefully foreign on his tongue. Perhaps it was because he met you in a setting outside of Hogwarts, a place where he didn’t have to puff his chest and wear his Slytherin crown. But for the first time in maybe his entire life, it felt like he made a friend. And it wouldn’t be until later when he realized that Y/N was also the love of his life.

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

Draco sat in the same adirondack chair he had the night he met you, looking at the empty chair to his right. A sullen expression was permanently etched on his face as he ran through the same thought over and over and over. I wish she was here. I wish she was here. I wish she was here. Lost in a trance, he didn’t notice his mother enter the patio until her shoes were in his line of sight.

Narcissa’s heart ached to see her son this way. So lost and so resigned. Every ounce of spirit and hope seemed to have vanquished as he processed Y/N’s death. She remembered the struggle of tearing him away from her dead body and bringing him back to the manor.

As the battle was in its final moments, Narcissa knew that her family needed to leave to avoid Azkaban. But Draco hadn’t wanted to leave her yet, he wasn’t ready to let go. Her and Lucius were forced to physically rip them a part. With Lucius holding him down and Narcissa prying her from his grasp. He pleaded and begged and cried and screamed. The raw pain and desperation in his screams as Y/N finally slipped from his grasp was something Narcissa would never forget. Once the three of them were apparated into the manor’s drawing room, Draco had collapsed in her arms choking on sobs and violent words cursing them. He was inconsolable, Narcissa tried. She held him, comforted him, but she knew it wasn’t her arms he needed. There was only one person who could rid his pain, but no amount of money in their Gringotts vault could bring back the dead.

Back on the patio, she quietly approached him.

“Draco?”

He looked up. Behind the sorrow in his eyes there was the slightest bit of resentment. He still hadn’t found it in himself to fully forgive her. It was even worse with his father. He couldn’t look at Lucius without turning breathless with anger.

“Draco,” she placed a hand gently on his shoulder, “it’s late. We should get you to bed.”

He merely blinked away, looking back at the empty chair instead. Narcissa noticed that he did that often, looking at the empty spaces next to him. Spaces that she was supposed to be in. He did it at the dining table on the rare occasions he’d join her for meals. He did it in the library, riveted by the black couch they frequented. And he did it while laying in his bed, always slightly off center, as if leaving room for someone.

It took a bit more coaxing from Narcissa to get Draco to his room. After he was settled in his bed, he closed his eyes succumbing to the nightmares that would undoubtedly come.

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

“Dra...Dray. Dray, ho..hold me. Please.”

He knew the end was nearing, white hot panic flooded him. Blood surrounded you, coating the dirty cement floor and his hands. He lifted you gingerly into his arms, scared to hurt you even more.

“Ok. Ok. Of course, Angel. I’m right here. I’m right here. You’re gonna be okay, it’s gonna be ok.” He was rambling now.

His hand cupped your cheek, keeping your eyes on him. Rocking back and forth, he looked into your eyes and studied your face.

“Angel, don’t do this to me. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You brought your hand up, grabbing onto his wrist. You were too weak to respond at that point, you were too far gone. You both knew. But a small smile ghosted your features as you looked at your love. Your love, your love, your love. You kept looking at him as you felt yourself slip farther and farther away. It was just like sleeping.

Draco’s silver hair fell into his face as looked down at the girl in his arms with an ocean between his lashes. He watched as she gave him that last little smile, with his hand still cupping her cheek. First, her hand’s grip loosened on his wrist. Then, her face went expressionless. And too sudden and far too soon, the light in her eyes were gone.

Y/N Y/L/N was dead.

A guttural, visceral sob erupted from the silver haired boy. He cried out, cursing the gods above and cursing fate for taking her from him so soon. His screams were strained with an indescribable and insurmountable amount of pain. He clawed at his chest, hoping he could somehow rip out the searing feeling that riddled his shattered heart.

He pressed his face in to the crook of her neck, sobbing thickly, muttering desperate pleas of help. But it was pitiful and it was nonsense, for death was unforgiving and death was final. Her arms, which once were used to caress and comfort him, now hung limp at her sides. There was a fiery anguish in his chest that was so colossal he could feel it radiate all through his body. Draco clung onto her dead body with as much strength as he could muster, as if sheer willpower could revive her somehow. The blood from her fatal wound covered Draco’s hands and clothes. It was a gruesomely harrowing scene: a forever broken boy clinging to a dead girl.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, kneeling on his knees while clutching his dead lover. The battle raged on around him as he remained in his penitent posture, praying to every deity, God, and powerful being he could think of to bring her back. When he finally found the strength to lift his head from the crook of her neck, the sight of her clouded eyes and paling skin sent another volley of shards into his chest. With an unsteady hand, he shut her eyes.

Draco gently pulled her into his lap, moving with the same amount of attentiveness as if she was still alive. His hands, still trembling, carefully smoothed her hair. He drank her face in more fervently than ever before, for this would be the last time he saw her. This would be the last time he could hold her. His angel, his beautiful angel was dead and soon he would be forced to let her go. He pressed his lips on hers as he’s done a thousand times before, but when her lips remained unmoving and were cold against his, a new set of sobs wracked his body.

The grieving boy sat in the midst of a battlefield, uncaring that he was defenseless. Draco sat there, silently hoping that someone would take mercy on him. Silently praying that someone would see him wandless and alone, and slay him. He knew this pain was carved into his heart and engraved in his soul. He knew that he would only be relieved of it when death came for him too.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Take me back to the night we met

Dear Y/N,

You’re dead, you won’t ever read this. I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this. Maybe it’s a plea of help, maybe it’s how I’ll heal. Either way, it makes me feel like I’m talking to you, like I haven’t lost everything. But I’m just deluding myself.

It hurts to live without you. Time keeps ticking forward, the world moving with it, but all I can think about is when I was last with you. Every night I slip into dreams of you. Sometimes, rarely, they’re good ones. But I wake up and you’re not there. Most nights, I’m watching you bleed and die in my arms. That dream never fails in hurting me. But what really breaks me, is after I drag myself awake, I realize I’m already living my worst fear. You’re already dead. It’s not a nightmare, it’s a memory.

Everything died with you, Y/N. I thought that once the war was over, my life could truly start. I’d finally be free from that world. I didn’t realize that the end of the war meant the end of us too. Every single plan we made for the future is gone. All my someday’s and one day’s died with you. I no longer have anyone to marry, to have children with, to grow old with. I feel robbed. I was supposed to have a whole life with you, not just a few measly school years. Even a lifetime wouldn’t have been enough for me. I want every lifetime with you, on this earth or the next.

I’m still holding you tight in my mind, it’s strange you’re not here with me. My heaven was here on earth with you. But ever since you’ve gone, the days have been getting darker and darker. I love you, I miss you.

Yours Forever,

Draco

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x hufflepuff!reader #draco x y/n #harry potter #hogwarts #slytherin #angst #draco imagine #draco fanfiction #harry potter imagine #draco angst #draco fluff

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saeransboy · 3 years ago

Text

Autumnal

Pairing: Saeran Choi / Male CMC (Rowan)

Word Count: 2942

Warnings: Chronic overthinking

Notes: this is for mystictober’s day 1 prompt: favorite character/rings!! knocked out two in one. entirely self-indulgent, just to get me in the writing spirit.

you can also read this here on ao3!! enjoy!!

Between the warm tones of his sweater and the color of his hair, Saeran blends in against the red and orange leaves perfectly, his eyes being the only thing making him stand out. They’re fixed on the sinking sun in the distance, watching with a content expression as he fiddles with a piece of the chocolate chip cookie he had yet to finish between his fingers.

An autumn picnic had felt just right. It took a few weeks for Rowan to put it together, deciding on the right foods to bring, the perfect spot, and whether a surprise was acceptable or not, but he finally made the decision. Things had to be just the right balance between perfect and comfortable.

The food -- and the sheer amount of it -- was definitely overboard, but he knew it would be appreciated. Three types of cookies, ice cream, cinnamon rolls, cinnamon bread, chocolate pecan pie, brownies, and cupcakes had been carefully packed away, sectioned off into containers, stored either on the back seat or in the freezer box they had brought along.

For once, he had skipped using his motorcycle, instead choosing to borrow one of Saeyoung's cars. It was an SUV, with plenty of room in the backseat and the trunk for food storage. Most of them had been too cramped, or "too precious" -- though he was sure that would've been tossed out the window if he revealed his plans for the evening.

Of course, he didn't. He couldn't. If the answer was no, then it would make things devastatingly more awkward. And, in the hopes that it was a yes? Saeran wouldn't exactly be rushing to tell his brother. The enthusiasm the revelation would bring was something he would almost certainly have to brace himself for long ahead of time. That wasn't a problem for Rowan; he was willing to wait. If the answer was a yes.

The doubt bubbling up in his chest, he lets a sigh escape from his lips, tensing as his boyfriend glances over. Though the redhead doesn't say anything, the question is obvious. Is everything okay?

Shoving another helping of frosting into his mouth to keep himself from stuttering out anything stupid, he nods, taking his time swallowing. It looked ridiculous, he knew, but it gave him time to think of a suitable response. "I'm fine. Just… thinking. You know how difficult that is for me. I get worn out in seconds," he jokes.

Saeran rolls his eyes at the self-deprecating joke, flicking a sprinkle still stuck to his finger at his boyfriend. "You can think just fine. Oh, and your mouth is…" He gestures to his own lips, prompting Rowan to wipe at his mouth with the back of his hand. It's totally covered in black frosting; in his haste to keep himself quiet, he hadn't been careful to not make a mess.

He can't help but smile at the ridiculousness of it, running his tongue along his lips and wiping the rest away with a napkin. "Surprised you didn't try to get a taste, sweet tooth." Though he doubts his boyfriend would've been that bold, he wasn't one to shy away from the opportunity to tease.

Unsurprisingly, he only gets a huff in response, though he doesn't have to check to know there's a light dusting of pink on the redhead's cheeks. "I was wondering when you'd say something like that. You've been quiet."

Just like that, the soft smile on Rowan's face fades into a slight grimace. If Saeran was mentioning it, that was a problem. Quiet was rarely a bad thing to Saeran; in fact, he usually preferred it. The fact that he was saying it like it was a point of concern meant that there was nowhere to run; Rowan had been figured out, and his only options were to stay quiet and make things awkward, try and fail to weasel out of it, or fess up.

The first two options would almost certainly ruin the cozy mood, not to mention put them both on edge. Confessing and putting his plan into action was definitely a risk, but at least it had a chance of not going horribly, right? They had been together for three years. It was unlikely that all of that could be ruined by this, even in the worst-case scenario.

Wrapping his fingers around his cup of hot chocolate, Rowan takes a sip, grateful that the other man never called him out on his tendency to stall for thought. The drink is far cooled down now, the taste being more uncomfortable rather than satisfying and relaxing, so he catches one of the remaining marshmallows with his teeth to chew on.

It takes a couple of minutes before he's able to speak again, voice uncharacteristically soft. "I was planning something for a while, but now I'm second-guessing myself. Are you fine to talk about something… kinda, barely, a-bit-yes-a-bit-not serious? And maybe a little sappy? You can say no at any time, but I just wanna know whether to say it or finish off these cinnamon rolls and drop it."

Saeran pauses, considering it. Rowan always liked watching him think, whether it was something a bit serious or more mundane, like which ice cream he wanted Rowan to get from the fridge. Something about seeing his boyfriend lost in thought -- as long as it wasn't in a negative sense -- made him feel strangely happy.

Silently, Saeran nods, snapping the brunette out of his lovestruck trance. Taking in a shaky breath, the nervous man turns his gaze back towards the sunset. Why was it that all the words he had planned out decided to escape him now, of all times?

"So, uh," he starts, already feeling a grave irritation at himself for his clumsy entrance into the topic. Blue eyes watch the other man curl his knees up to his chest, getting comfortable in preparation for whatever words Rowan would be able to stutter out. "I've been thinking. Again. But, for longer, and with a lot more difficulty. Shocking, I know."

Rowan doesn't give time for his quip to sink in. "I care about you so much. I don't say it a lot because I don't wanna overload you with fluff, but even just sitting in silence with you makes me so overwhelmingly happy, happier than I've ever felt before. You've changed my life for the better. I won't go over all that again, because I don't want either of us to cry on our cozy little picnic, but you know you have. You're my favorite person, my best friend, and--" Wait. Shit.

"I'm not proposing," he says suddenly, a bit too loudly, putting his hands up. Saeran jumps a bit at the sudden outburst, making Rowan mumble a quiet apology, but he settles back down easily. "This is… not that. Nuh-uh. That wouldn't be a bad thing," he clarifies, "but that's not what's going on here."

Once the redhead nods in acknowledgment, he tries his best to continue, deciding to abandon the sappy build-up. "I was in the store picking up some ice cream and snacks to restock the minifridge, and, well, right by the entrance, there's the jewelry display. Apparently, they were having a sale, so I popped over to see if they had anything nice."

Reaching into his pocket, Rowan pulls out a tiny velvet pouch, tracing his fingers over the soft material. "Most of it was the normal shit: fake diamonds, overly eccentric junk, a bunch of things that look almost exactly alike being treated like the makers didn't just super-glue a different fake jewel in the same spot. But then I saw one that kinda reminded me of your sweater. I mean, the pearl on it is exactly the same color. And then I went, 'oh! His birthstone is a pearl!', and… ended up getting a bit attached."

His eyes flit up to gauge the other man's reaction. As expected, Saeran's face was almost unreadable, though he was definitely listening. Granted, he hadn't given him much to work with. Good job. You started out sighing and moping like it was some grand big deal and now you're telling him about your grocery store trip. Get to the point.

"I actually found out they were doing a 2-for-1 deal, so I decided if my brain wanted to get that one, I should get another. I was looking at different designs, but I found a pretty similar one, with a black jewel. That's pretty fitting for my style, so I picked it up, and it wasn't until I got out of the store that I realized they matched. Like, really well."

Undoing the drawstring, he shakes the two rings into the palm of his hand and turning them where Saeran could see. With the gems facing away, they looked nearly identical; both with narrow bands, and a small gem pressed on the front. The only thing differentiating them from each other was the contrasting gold and silver metals.

"I know that matching stuff can mean a lot of different things in relationships. Some couples do it just for fun, sometimes things like jewelry can have… stronger meanings. Some people see matching like that as a promise to stick together." Wow, he really did sound like he was proposing, huh? Part of him wants to look up, to see if his last comment had changed anything, but his neck felt stuck in place, paralyzed by his own nerves. The rings noticeably tremble in his hand; he hopes it isn't as visible on Saeran's end.

"And, well�� I'm not going anywhere if you aren't. I--" Rowan lets out a shaky sigh, brushing his hair out of his face, something he rarely bothered to do. "Honestly, it's not even as serious as I'm making it out to be. I only thought to do this because my stupid brain got attached to both and I realized, 'hey, you'll look really stupid matching with yourself', and I know your birthstone is a pearl, and I like the color black, so… yeah."

He can't bring himself to look up at the other man, but the silence across from him was almost sickeningly overwhelming. Shoulders slumping, he fiddles with the ring he intended for himself, trying to distract himself from the pit in his stomach.

"I kinda fucked up and made things awkward, but… to shorten down my rambling: do you wanna match these cheap-as-hell rings with me, as some kind of symbolism that we care about each other and won't leave each other, or whatever?" Rowan stumbles over the words, trying to scoop together what was left of his brain into a cohesive sentence.

There's a long pause as the words sink in, the world around him feeling totally still until Saeran leans forward, resting his chin on his knees. "You mean a lot to me, too," he mumbles, voice quiet. It's hard to distinguish any specific emotion with his volume, so Rowan listens intently.

"It's... nice, that you thought of me, and..." Anyone else might be worried over the hesitation and reservedness of the words, but his answer comes as a great relief to the brunette. He's not rejecting anything, or pushing him away; he's taken off-guard, which isn't ideal, but there's no trace of upset or discomfort in his tone. It gives Rowan the courage to look up again.

"I'm not going anywhere either." The redhead parts his lips as if to say more, but can't seem to find the words, closing them again and instead wordlessly holding his hand out, palm up. Rowan presses the pearl ring into his palm, watching with a small smile as he admires it. It hadn't gone poorly. Things were fine. Nothing was falling apart.

Saeran's nose wrinkles in distaste all of a sudden, as if he imagined something unfavorable. For a moment, Rowan feels a spark of panic, but he quickly puts the pieces together. "I've got some necklace chains you can hang it off of at my apartment. They should be long enough to tuck under your sweater so your brother doesn't see. I'm probably gonna wear mine like that, anyways. I can't wear it over my riding gloves."

The other man hums in acknowledgment, the look on his face relaxing into something more content that makes Rowan's heart clench. Finally feeling that nervous knot in his stomach fully slip away, he turns his attention back to the picnic, taking another cinnamon roll and enjoying the silence. It was like nothing had changed, and yet, he felt even happier than before. Though his boyfriend didn't say anything further, he could tell the other man felt the same.

The moment lasts for several minutes, picking away at the food still left in comfortable silence. It's only interrupted by a small splash of water against Saeran's cheek, causing him to blink in surprise and glance upwards. During their distracted peace, a storm was beginning to roll in, the previously white-clouded sky now totally covered in heavy gray clouds.

"Shit," he murmurs under his breath, tearing Rowan's attention away from the brownie he was finishing off. He quickly begins tucking away the food still left out, the other man joining him once he feels a droplet hit his skin.

Saeran is the first one to get to his feet, walking halfway to the car before turning back to watch him. There was no need to; it wasn't as if Rowan would slip away on the slowly wetting grass, or that they'd lose sight of each other, but it simply felt right.

Neither of them say a word as they begin shoving food haphazardly into the backseat, Rowan giving an annoyed huff as he takes note of the lack of room, reaching up between the seats to pop the trunk instead of going around to the front doors. As he wiggles his way back out, his boyfriend's voice surprises him.

"Thank you."

"Mm?" Rowan turns to glance at him, the tenderness in his voice making him momentarily forget the basket of sweets in his arms, the blanket strewn over the top turning dappled with rain.

"For all of this, and…" Saeran raises his hand, showing off the ring now slipped around his finger. "It was good enough to have an excuse to get out, but you still put in more effort to make it perfect. You didn't have to, but you did. Thanks."

It wasn't often that Saeran was the one to fluster him, but the grateful comment had his cheeks heating up. "M-mhm. It wasn't a big deal, I just… wanted to do something nice for you, and wanted to make things more comfortable. I know you get claustrophobic in the bunker, and it's always nice being out this time of year. I thought you'd enjoy it; I'm glad you did. It makes me happy, seeing you happy."

Just as quickly as the redhead had gotten to him, he turned the tables back around, the other man busying himself packing food into the cooler to avoid a response. His joy from the evening going well getting to him, Rowan continues to speak.

"I'm relieved everything went well. I was worried about so many things -- maybe the cooler wouldn't be cold enough and things would melt, or something would get dropped or squished, or you'd think I was weird, that I was doing too much but then that I wasn't doing enough… a bunch of irrational shit like that. So, um… it really was perfect?"

"Yeah, it was." The short answer makes him smile, bouncing on the balls of his feet for a moment when Saeran isn't looking. The other man was never bothered by his stimming, nor did he judge him, but for once, he was the one more embarrassed by his love for the other man.

“Honestly? I had a dream about giving you some big romantic speech like that and wanted to make it real. Only this time, it wasn't as smooth, and the sky doesn’t explode.” Saeran pauses, mid-tucking away the picnic blanket.

“What?”

"Yeah. it was some biiiig date I set up, and I had fireworks and everything, but somehow the fireworks messed up earth's atmosphere and ended up killing all of humanity. Really sucked. This is a lot nicer. Less heat death of the universe and more coziness, y'know.”

Saeran stares incredulously for a moment, finally sighing and shaking his head. “I don’t get how you work at all.” His tone is affectionate despite his words, and the corner of his lips struggle not to twitch up into a smile.

“If I recall correctly, you just signed up to not get me, like, three minutes ago. Forever.” Rowan lifts his hand to close the trunk, pausing before looking back at his boyfriend with a smile, turning and falling into the cozy mess of blankets stuffed into the trunk, wiggling his fingers at the other man.

At the open invitation to cuddle, Saeran doesn't hesitate, shoving the cooler over a bit before moving to settle in front of him and leaning back against his chest with a frown. “You’re implying that I won’t ever get you.“

“Well, I don't know. I don’t have a me manual, pumpkin. If you want one, you’re gonna have to write that yourself. Good luck.”

The redhead tilts his head back to look up at him, lazily brushing his lips against his jawline for just a moment. “Mm, you’re not that complicated. Give me two weeks.”

“Two weeks?!“ Saeran smiles, turning his head away to watch the rain, quietly treasuring the warmth the other man provided. He could handle this forever.

#mystictober2021 #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #se saeran #cmc #rowan carmody #my writing #saefluff

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evakuality · 3 years ago

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Hanna, episode 9

1. Hanna is such a sweet character. Occasionally it’s easy to forget that, but even in the face of her own hurt and justifiable anger at Matteo and what he’s done, as soon as she realises he’s going through some shit, she not only doesn’t pursue her anger but asks Jonas to hug him for her and give him best wishes. Honestly, I love her so so so much. I don’t actually much recall the way this scene goes in Eva’s season, but Eva always felt tougher (? I think that’s what I mean?) somehow. I mean, I know Hanna doesn’t let it lie forever (good for her!) but she has so much compassion in this particular moment.

2. I adore that Hanna is wearing this ‘stronger together; shirt when she’s talking with Jule. This is always such a great moment - the girls realising that actually they need to stop tearing each other up and actually place blame where it needs to go. This scene with Jule is also much nicer/better than the previous one. I really do think that’s because the stuff with Leonie was SO emotional that the Jule thing had no time to breathe. But here it’s a) much longer and b) is given the space it deserves, and Hanna is being so proactive in such a positive way. Love this for her. Also, look at this gorgeous yellow surrounding this scene. It’s so warm and calm and it calls back to those soft colours of the early season, but it’s so much stronger and brighter. I like that we’re kind of getting a return to Hanna’s true self (if that’s even a thing) but it’s not so washed out and pale. My girl is getting stronger.

3. Hanna and Jonas. Awkwaaarrrrddddd. But also this hallway/stairway they meet in is so cool. I love how many different textures this place has. Also, it’s a bit.... hmmmm. I don’t know, it feel so artificial the way they are giving us this information about Matteo’s family. It could arguably have come out (the stuff about his mother anyway) more organically earlier in the season. It’s good to know, but the execution isn’t the best. I do like the bit with Sam and Jonas. I mean, not ‘like’ as in approve, but like as in I like the way it’s executed. This is so real for this age, and it really felt like it could be genuine. I also really really like how Hanna’s immediate reaction is to try to settle Jonas, to give him the same attention she used to, and how natural that also feels. But of course, he’s still in pain and so it doesn’t work. But it does show just how well connected they were - and lends weight to what Hanna was saying about how she has genuine feelings for Jonas. It wasn’t just about stealing a boyfriend. I really do like the way these clips bleed into each other, bits from one informing what comes into another.

4. I do like these little girl squad moments. And while Kiki really does get on my nerves, it’s nice that they are all thinking about and concerned about her. It’s nice when they support each other. Still. She still really hasn’t grown up, and is still chasing that whole popularity thing at any cost. She’s at risk of losing genuine friends, and of seriously damaging her health. But we know that, and it sucks what’s going to be coming for her.

5. Ahh, the karaoke is so much fun!! I really really do love this whole bit. It reminds me of ho0w much fun we used to have doing it. Though I was never good enough at singing or confident (or drunk!) enough to do it by myself, so full kudos to everyone here who did it.

6. The thing with Matteo is also super well done. The acting here, from both of them, is really great. Her voice changes when she asks if he’s better and when she says he’s trustworthy you can see on his face that he knows that she’s caught him before she even has to say anything. This is always a moment I like in these scenes - when the Isak character is so close to the verge of admitting that he likes the Jonas character, and the Eva character goes in an entirely wrong direction. And it is really well done here. His little face when he realises she hasn’t got it, and the absolute irritation in her voice when she says that’s no reason to be doing all this fucked up shit. I’ve seen people saying they don’t like the way Matteo is acted in this season, but it’s very much consistent with how he develops later, particularly given the changes in his life situation rn. It’s a lot in the face and the body language, and I guess again because Matteo is subtly different to Isak you might see that as ‘bad’ but I really like it. I like that they’re two different characters who happen to go through a similar life path (and I did go over that at length in this series of posts starting here). The acting really has been great this season imo. Even when it was finding its feet early on, Hanna always resonated and rang true and it’s still true here. And the really nice thing is, you can see here that they are and have been good friends. So when she tells him she misses him in s3, you can believe it. You can see it here, how upsetting this is for her.

7. I’d forgotten just how much is in this clip. It’s roughly half of the entire episode! And oh. Kiki. Again, I think the acting is so superb, from all of them. But Lea infuses so much into Kiki, that as irritating and hard headed and just plain horrible as she can be sometimes, you can’t help but feel so much for her. This moment is awful. You can feel how lost and unhappy she is, and while the other characters are bemused (Amira’s face when she grabs the mic is amazing), I can’t help but feel so sad for her. I also find the way Druck moves PoVs occasionally to be a strange choice. But it does allow us to get this little insight into Mia before we’re with her fulltime (and ick. Alex needs to learn boundaries and back off - how does he even have her number? Do we find that out? I don’t remember).

8. The whole thing with Hanna and Jonas is so painful, from the wistful looks between the two of them, to the scene together and how that all plays out, and I really like that the way it’s shot is so awkward and just a bit ‘off. The fact that Jonas is singing a Matteo song (to Matteo, no less), and then ends up singing it to Hanna. Then they’re not properly framed in the shot at the end, and it almost feels designed to make it uncomfortable. They clearly have a great connection, but at the same time nothing has been talked about and so everything is just subtly ‘wrong’ and that’s why this whole bit works for me. It’s all off, kind of difficult to parse, and leaves the episode in this place where things are not really right. They’re not right with Mia and Kiki and they’re certainly not right with Hanna and Jonas.

This is such a difficult episode in so many ways. You can see why it’s called ‘crashes’ - so many things are crashing down for so many people. So much is packed into this last clip too, that it must have been really intense when it aired. And so we’re close to the end - one to go. Which is a bit sad because I really really am going to miss this revisit of Hanna. I’d forgotten just how much I love her because it’s been far too long since I watched her.

#druck #og druck #hanna episode 9

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defdaily · 4 years ago

Text

KNIGHT Magazine March 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily

JAY B: Back to the starting point, to set off again

At first sight, Jay B does not seem to have the looks of a popular “Flower Boy”; he has single eyelids typical in Korean boys, and the corners of his eyes crescent up with warmth and pureness as he smiles, drawing people close to him. “Sexy”, “Steady”, “Introverted”，“Warm”，“Sharp” and “Domineering” are all words fans use to describe him. These seemingly unrelated characteristics come together in Jay B and sparks a charisma that is unique to him.

9 years on since debut, he is an all-rounder who sings, dances and composes and his vibrant abilities are obvious to all. However, the entertainment industry is a place that is never short of talent and worthy competitors. Being GOT7’s leader and facing the responsibilities and stress, he did not go down an easy path. Through the endurance, he figured out his own direction of growth and pace - one that is neither nervous or rushed but instead calm and steady. The start of 2021 ushered in the end of his artistic contract and signing new companies, but that did not affect his pace; he made a comeback with his members, writing songs and preparing for his solo album, continuing to do what he is good at, facing the odds calmly and confidently, “2021 to me is a brand new start; I will return to the starting point and start anew.”

Embracing the essence, upholding greatness

Looking through Jay B’s portfolio, he went through many profile changes in the early years. From being an aspiring B-boy, to debuting as an actor, as a boy group duo JJ Project, and 2 years later debuting as GOT7 leader. At every stage, he did his best in whatever he wanted to do. Grabbing every opportunity and going forward earnestly. For dance, he once gave up on his studies and joined a professional dance group very early on. After debuting as a leader, in order to shoulder the responsibilities, he reigned in on his youthful flippance and impetuousness and learned to be tolerant. Through several details, he is managing well. When appearing on variety shows as a group, he made efforts to ensure that every member had the chance to showcase their talents. Before showcases, he is obviously nervous himself but would never forget to remind the others to drink up. He even prioritized group activities over his own, concertedly rejecting solo activities arranged by the company. Till date, he is still the one with the least solo activities. “Instead of myself, it would be better for the other members to begin their solo activities first.”

He is clear-cut and is never trapped between choosing one thing over the other. As a trainee, he also experienced a rebellious phase where he wanted to give up. When he did not know what he wanted, he would follow his heart. He once wrote on SNS “Do whatever you want. If you really love something, then follow your heart and do it.” His motivation sets him on a simple path; start off with love, and put in all his effort into it, working hard to hand in his best submission. He assigned the name Def. to his solo writing, which holds the meaning of “the best, the greatest of all”. Years ago, he had said in a variety show, “When I grow a little older, I must become a truly cool celebrity, and a multi-talented artist.” At that time, when faced with many fresh opportunities, he eagerly leapt forward to try them out, to bloom from all corners. Later, interviewers asked him what his future plans are for the next 5 years, and he said, “Definitely to continue my music-related work, and if my body allows me to, I will continue dancing.” And now, his dreams have more definitively settled on the area of creative music composing, hence, when asked whether he would consider moving into acting again, he said, “Now I can’t fully embody and express a character, but I think I should learn and understand deeply before going into acting. Learning to have restraint and storing one’s potential will help with a better start.

I will open up my heart

Some say the creative must embrace change at all times and maintain a keenness for observation; similarly, Jay B’s awareness of the world is astute and meticulous. He observes life through film lenses, and reflects upon his own feelings in the process. “Through the photos I take, I discovered that my photos are people-centric, and I often am curious about what they are thinking, how they are feeling at that very moment.” The happiness and sorrows of people often differ from one another, but they always leave marks. He likes to record down his surroundings, the people around him and the banalities of everyday life, and incorporate them into his creative works. For example, when writing the song “Rainy”, he laid out photos that he took on a rainy day on the floor of his studio, began arranging and rearranging them, and pondering over the sequences. Thus led to the birth of a rainy love story.

Whether it is on stage or composing music, the ever-changing styles he expresses are undoubtedly based on thoughts and experiences in life. In addition to photography, reading books, watching movies and having conversations with people who have experienced life are all some ways in which he draws inspiration from. “In the future I would like to ponder over everything that I experience genuinely in my life, and describe my true thoughts and feelings. It may not necessarily have to be positive; sometimes it can also be a form of relief by expressing the negativity in a straightforward manner.”

Having been in the spotlight of the entertainment industry for many years, he is no stranger to receiving criticisms, yet he always digests it quietly. His warm, honest aura, along with his sensitivity and sympathetic nature, creates a juxtaposition in his personality. On the performing stage, he is cool and powerful, as if he has an unlimited source energy waiting to be released. In everyday life, the same Jay B he stores that energy and softens up, creating an entirely different image. He is used to treating others with kindness, and knows how to live as himself: “Instead of paying attention to the criticism and living like someone else, I would rather be myself and accept the criticism.” He loves life, and likes to play with his three cats. He remembers a funny incident, “One of my cats likes to lick the carpet, so there was one time I accidentally stepped on the carpet and almost fell.” Like many young folks, during his leisure time, he reads and sleeps to relieve stress. When his schedule is packed, he would take a stroll at the working site, sometimes taking photos and videos and sharing them along the way. He has his own world, but it is not locked up at all; it is wide open and welcome for everyone to visit. There was once where he read a word in a book that reminded him of b-boying, so he simply left the house and b-boyed along the streets, posting a clip of it on SNS. He thinks that the name that Chinese fans call themselves sounds nice, but he also likes calling everyone “best friend”. Realizing he might sound impolite, he carefully added that it does not mean he does not like the former, just like an old friend with no filter who says what they want but never fails to consider your feelings.

Tackling the unknown is full of delight

“Unknown challenges, to me, are very interesting. I find tackling new things to be a really great thing.” In this new year, with a new company and new plans, Lim Jaebeom has started on his journey of transformation. Taking on a path that he has to take alone, even though he may still be adapting to this new identity and role, “I am really alone now, it feels fascinating yet a little awkward.” He understands to cherish, and wishes to continue making even greater music for the group. He also looks forward dearly for his music to find a place of its own in the music sphere. Being faced with the challenges that await him, he is eager to create a world of his own. At a certain program where he was asked by his members, “Are you happy?”, he hesitated and replied: “I don’t know.” In fact, he is just like the music that he writes - it does not shock or excite but you will never get bored of it after repeated listens; the kind of music he pursues is not one with intricate formal design or various showy techniques, but one that expresses of real and honest emotions triggered by real and honest events.

As he faces the ebb and flow of the tide calmly and inches closer to his dreams with each step, he is still the young boy he was before, fiery passion in his gaze, sincerely embracing change, maturing and growing through it. Perhaps he might not know when his personal happiness will arrive, but he has never stopped looking for it. For his era is imminent.

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